Is this your first year homeschooling?
Did you pull your kids out of public school to start this grand homeschooling adventure?
You probably had grand visions of happy kids curled up on couches reading about their favorite subject.
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OR
Gathered blissfully around the table, working through their assignments and asking deep, engaging questions.
And maybe that’s happening for you …
OR maybe you’re finding that many of the issues that showed up during homework time are now showing up during school time.
Why is that?
Because your kid -- your lovely, delightful, beautiful kid who you are so excited to homeschool -- is still carrying all their baggage and issues about learning from their time at public school.
It might be a little baggage -- but it also might be a lot.
It might be directly related to a certain subject. But it might also be related to learning in general.
Regardless, when you are choosing to homeschool, you are choosing a different way of doing things.
That “different way” requires that your kids and you learn a different way of thinking. And it means you all need time to adjust.
In the homeschool world, we call this “detox” or “deschooling.”
What does it mean to deschool or detox?
Check out this video to learn all about deschooling and get several deschooling ideas.
Want to keep reading instead of watch? Scroll to read a transcript of the video.
Register below to watch my FREE CLASS
Confident Homeschool Secrets
7 Ways to Create a Homeschool That Works (and you LOVE!)
Transcript
Hello, my name is ToriAnn Perkey, and from my homeschool to your homeschool, today I want to talk about how to successfully transition your kids from public schooling to homeschooling.
And this is something that a lot of new homeschool moms have to do. You started your kids out in public school and for whatever reason you decided it's time to bring them home. Maybe it's just one kid, maybe it's the entire family. I'm going to talk about some ways that you can think about this so that the transition can be just a little bit smoother.
So first of all, I just know that this transition is not always a smooth ride. It can be bumpy. There's a lot of differences between public school and homeschool, and understanding and appreciating those differences will help you make this transition a little bit better.
You know, public school is very structured. It's very clear that the kids show up at a certain time. They go from point A to point B to point C. They're very directed. You as the mom are more of a support system at home. You're trying to help support with homework. You're trying to help support with projects. But you don't have a lot of say. And for whatever reason, you no longer like that environment.
But when you bring the kids home, the challenge is your kids only know that environment, and you only know that environment. And so ... and probably you're coming from a public school experience yourself. Not everyone. Sometimes you've been homeschooled, but most people who are homeschooling have been public schooled themselves.
I was like that. I never was homeschooled. I only homeschooled my kids, and I've now been doing it for, you know, over 15 years. But when I started I didn't have any frame of reference in mind except for what public school looked like, which was sitting in a desk and being given an assignment with a teacher talking up front.
So one of the first things you can do to help this transition is to recognize that your homeschool will look significantly different than your public school experience. It's not ...don't try to make it look the same. If you do, you'll burn out.
You want your homeschool to look different. You want it to be more organic. You want it to feel like part of ... like an extension of your actual home rather than trying to duplicate school at home. So that's one of the things that I recommend is recognizing that it's different and allowing that home environment to feel more like a home environment and less like public school at home.
Another thing to recognize is that a lot of kids coming from the public school environment are coming out of that with some kind of trauma, big or little. That's probably ... that's often the reason why you're choosing to homeschool. Maybe they've been bullied. Maybe they were struggling in a subject or many subjects. Maybe they -- you recognized that they weren't getting the right kind of attention, that they were smart kids at home, but at school they didn't feel successful because of the way the content was given or the other aspects of that environment. Maybe they have special needs that makes not the learning part hard, but the social interaction or something else, whatever that is.
If a child has not had a perfect experience, and no child has, they're going to need time to adjust. They're going to need time to process and work through the things that they have been through. And so recognizing that means giving time for that to happen.
One of the things that we call that is "detox." To detox from the public school environment -- to relearn how to be at home.
And there's a lot of things that a homeschool kid and a homeschool mom have to learn when you come home. Often these public school kids have to learn how to like actual learning again. Because they aren't forced all the time, they can learn the things that they want to.
Sometimes they have to relearn how to be open and feel safe. Sometimes they have to learn how to interact with material that is actually working for them and to not immediately shut down when you mention a certain subject.
You also have to learn and relearn how to be a mom and a teacher and a student and a child. You're adding different roles in relationships. And so it takes time to make that transition. And when they're coming out of an environment where they have maybe experienced some trauma, they need time to adjust to all of these new things, relearn these things and step into these new roles. So that's another aspect of being aware of that -- will give you time.
Now there's a formula that gets sort of tossed around in the homeschool community. I do not know where it came from, but it seems to hold pretty true, which is for every year that your child was in public school, they will probably need about one month of detox time.
Now what does detox look like? Well, detox doesn't mean doing nothing. Most of the time it means being actively engaged in something, but it may mean not actively engaged in any schoolwork. You may need a child ... may need to spend a lot of time in nature. A detox time may look like reading books on the couch. It may look like ... I knew one family that brought their kid home, and this child had struggled a lot in school. And so for an entire year this mom just had this kid ride horses, and then they just took off and everything was amazing.
Detox can look very individual, but it does mean allowing the child to really step into a place where they can own their education. You can own their education. And together you can figure out these other roles that you're going to play.
Another thing that I recommend is recognizing that learning about homeschooling takes time. You may have been planning this all along, but if you are stepping into this quickly, which can happen, right? One day you're like, "That's it. We're done. We're bringing them home."
You're going to need time to learn how to homeschool. And learning how to homeschool while they're detoxing is a really good match. So be patient with yourself as you're learning these different roles. Be patient as you're learning about curriculum and styles and personality and how to structure your day. Be patient with all of that.
Now, if that is where you are, then I would like to offer you a free class that I've put together. It's called Confident Homeschool Secrets. And I go through a lot of the things we just talked about, structuring a day, creating a vision for your homeschool, pitfalls to avoid. And it's completely free. You just have to click on the link up above or down below, you know, wherever you're watching this video, give me a little bit of information -- you know, name, email, --and I will send that to you, and you can watch it right away.
It's going to lay out how you build a successful foundation for your homeschool so you can feel confident as you step into this new journey that you are going on with your kids. So I'd like to offer that for free. Just click up above or down below.
And you know what? Welcome to the journey. Welcome to this. It is going to be fun and exciting. It will also be hard, but I promise it will be worth it.
I'm ToriAnn Perkey, and I make these videos every week so that you can be a successful and confident homeschool mom.
Guilt. Comparison. Envy.
How often do these show up for you as a homeschool mom?
You’ll be taking a break … scrolling through Facebook or Pinterest when suddenly it happens …
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You see some other homeschool mom doing something amazing.
Maybe she’s just posted a picture of how her family of 8 all gathered around the table to mummify a chicken for their unit on Ancient History.
Or maybe she’s showing multiple pictures of their homemade pioneer meal to wrap up reading Little House on the Prairie.
OR ...
Maybe you took a few minutes on Pinterest and ended up saving 50 pins with fun science activities … or tea party ideas … or fieldtrip enhancements …
And suddenly you are feeling Homeschool Envy -- the green-eyed monster that appears at your side telling you that somehow your homeschool will NEVER measure up to all of these other amazing homeschools.
And along with the Envy monster comes his side-kick Homeschool Guilt -- reminding you that you are failing your homeschool kids … that they are not learning anything … that your homeschool isn’t working at all.
In that moment -- what will you do?
How will you battle and win against Homeschool Envy (and get rid of Homeschool Guilt too!)??
You must go back to the beginning.
And this week’s video is all about how to do that.
Rather read than watch? Keep scrolling to read a transcript of the video.
Register below to watch my FREE CLASS
Confident Homeschool Secrets
7 Ways to Create a Homeschool That Works (and you LOVE!)
Transcript
Hello, my name is ToriAnn Perkey, and from my homeschool to your homeschool, today I want to talk about how you can avoid homeschool envy. As long as you're homeschooling, envy can start to creep in.
Envy is when you start looking at all the other things that the homeschool moms are doing, and especially on Facebook or on Pinterest, and you start to just think, "Oh, I want that. I want that for my homeschool. But you start to feel yucky inside because you don't know that there's any way that you could possibly also recreate that in your home."
So today I want to turn the tables just a little bit and get you out of homeschool envy. And the way you want to do that is to talk about the fact that when you are homeschooling, you will always have a buffet of possibilities. You will have so many things in every subject area that you could cover, that you could easily start to feel well overwhelmed or guilty, or just like you're failing because you're not doing even a fraction of everything you see.
And so the cure, the antidote to overcome this buffet overload is to step back and get really, really clear on your priorities, on what's important to you. Because if you can -- if you can look at all of those things and line them up against your priorities, what you think is best for your homeschool, then you'll be able to pick and choose.
Now how do you prioritize? Well, you need to get clear on 1) how your homeschool wants to function. What do you want happening in your homeschool? And that happens through creating a vision. It also happens when you get to know your kids' personalities, their learning styles, all of those things.
And then once you've done that, you can look through and you can say, "Okay, I need to figure out what is the best thing I could do? What's the better thing and what's the good thing? " I like to call it good, better and best. Because there are lots and lots of great options out there. And what you need to figure out is which of the great options fit in this priority scale? And what do I mean by that? Well, let me give you an example.
Let's say you want to study history, and you're looking and thinking about all of the options. Well, "good" for your family, depending on your kids and how they learn, good could actually be doing a really intense, hands-on activity where they're getting their hands dirty and they're making a huge mess. Better might be doing a simple activity that you know you can pick up in 10 minutes and it's not going to make wreak havoc in your home. And best might be just sitting down and telling a story or even watching a YouTube video about that topic.
You see all three of things allow you to accomplish teaching about that subject, but they may not all be the best fit for your family. On the other hand, maybe you know that your kid isn't going to learn a whole lot if they're just watching a video, but they will learn a lot if you do that messy activity, and so you actually swap your good and your best, and your best is the messy activity, and you do less somewhere else.
It all depends on your kid's learning style, your kid's personality, your personality and learning style, your vision for your own school. It depends on all those pieces.
But once you have it, you can prioritize, and you can step out of homeschool envy, and you can feel better because you know that the things you are picking for your homeschool are actually really the best things for your homeschool.
Now, how do you set that vision? How do you figure out your kids personalities and learning styles? Well, I have a free webinar that I'd love to have you check out because I go over exactly those things and several additional things that will help you create a successful and confident homeschool. It's called Confident Homeschool Secrets, and you can sign up for free to watch it right away. Just click on the link up above or down below. You know, wherever you're watching this video, and you can-- it'll shoot into your inbox and you can start watching it as well as soon as right now.
Okay. I just want to end by saying that homeschool envy doesn't have to have you turning green. You can feel confident as you're homeschooling. You can feel good about picking the very best things for your kids. Prioritize, get clear on what your family needs, and you'll be halfway there.
I'm ToriAnn Perkey, and I make these videos every week so that you can be a successful and confident homeschool mom.
Are you temporarily homeschooling during the national shutdown?
You may also want to check out Temporary Homeschooling: How to School at Home During an Emergency.
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Summer is winding down and the school year is about to start.
Which means you are probably working on your plan for your homeschool year … as well as thinking about your schedule for your homeschool day.
How will you start out your morning?
When will you do math … and spelling … and help the 6 yr old with their reading?
And when will you get all the laundry get done?!?
I don’t have all the answers, but I have learned over the years that if I include certain things into my homeschool day EVERYTHING goes so much better.
School work gets done.
We spend time together.
And the house stays relatively clean! (Well … at least I think so. But clean is relative when you homeschool!)
So that’s what I’m sharing with you today -- the 5 essential elements for a successful homeschool daily schedule.
Want to read instead of watch? Scroll to read a transcript of the video.
Register below to watch my FREE CLASS
Confident Homeschool Secrets
7 Ways to Create a Homeschool That Works (and you LOVE!)
Hello, this is ToriAnn Perkey, and from my homeschool to your homeschool, today I want to talk about how to structure your homeschool day so it can be successful. I have five essential things I want to encourage you to include.
So if you are planning on homeschooling or you've actually already started homeschooling, there are a lot of pieces and elements you have to pull together to make this successful. You are committing to a really important thing, right? You're committing to facilitating an education for your children. It is not to be taken lightly. And how you structure your day is going to be really, really important.
Now your homeschool is unique. Your kids are unique. And your situation is unique. So I'm not going to tell you what order to do things in. And I'm certainly not going to tell you exactly what to do within these different pieces because you need to figure that out. But I am going to tell you that successful homeschools include these five essential parts, and you get to figure out how you piece them together.
So what are they?
Well, the first one is work time. Time to work together. And structure your time so that you are working in the home, preferably together. But even if just everybody has chores so that you can keep your home up.
The second one is you want to have time where you spend time all together where you gather as a family. One of the benefits of homeschool is that you are actually together. And this is a little bit easier to do when your kids are young. It gets a little bit harder as they get older, as they start to go out and be involved in other things, even during the homeschool day. But finding time to come and be together as a family, whether it's a few minutes or a longer period of time -- really important.
The third one is you want to have a chunk of time set aside at some point during the day when people can work on individual parts of their homeschooling, whether it be their math or their individual reading or music practice. They're going to need a chunk of time during the day that's set aside for that. And again, you get to figure out how to piece these together, but you're going to need that.
The next is -- it's really important that kids have time to play. And we call play different things as kids get older, whether it's play or whether it's recreational time or downtime. Kids need that and so do you. And so it's really important to create time and structure time within the day that you know the kids are going to be free to explore, experiment, do their own kinds of things.
The last essential key piece that I really cannot recommend more strongly than I'm about to recommend is you structure time for you. You must have time on a daily basis where you recharge your batteries, whatever that looks like for you. And I know that sounds impossible. But I promise you, if you are not recharging you, you'll burn out. And homeschool mom burnout is a real thing. So figure out a piece of each day that can be just for you. You will be able to homeschool more confidently and more successfully if you have that in place.
So those are the five things I recommend. Work time, time together, time alone, time to play, and time for you. Now, if you'd like more details about how to do this, as well as other key things to get in place in order to have a successful and confident homeschool, than I would love to have you sign up for my free webinar. It's called Confident Homeschool Secrets. You can check the link out. It's up above or down below. You know, wherever you're watching this video. And it's totally free.
You're going to go ... I'm going to go over the seven key things that I recommend you do to have a foundation in place that helps you have a successful and confident homeschool. Because I know that if you can get those pieces in place. And particularly this piece -- if you can figure out how to structure your day, you are going to have a homeschool that you love. You're going to have a homeschool that your kids look forward to and a homeschool that you look forward to.
I'm ToriAnn Perkey, and I make these videos every week so that you can be a successful and confident homeschool mom.
Are you ready to homeschool (or have even been homeschooling for awhile) but your husband still doesn’t support the idea?
Maybe you’ve tried talking about it, and he’s just not ready to go there. Or maybe he’s on the fence, not sure whether he likes the idea or not.
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The reality is being a homeschool dad is different than being a homeschool mom -- and he is going to have his own sets of fears and concerns (just like you do!)
So do both parents have to agree to homeschool?
Short answer … at least to some degree!
Otherwise, the level of conflict in your home will be crazy and that doesn’t do anyone any good!
For years, my husband was VERY wishy-washy about homeschool … he was willing to go along with the idea, but he was torn with lots of worries about how it was all going to work out.
But over the years, things changed and now he’s a HUGE advocate for homeschooling!
So how do you get your husband on board with your homeschool?
Today I’m sharing 5 key steps that can dramatically improve your ability to get your husband to understand homeschool and help him feel more supportive toward homeschooling.
I used ALL FIVE of these tips with my husband … and I’ve seen them work for other spouses as well.
In this video I mention my free class Confident Homeschool Secrets. It’s a great way to help your husband AND you feel confident about homeschooling.
Click here to register to watch Confident Homeschool Secrets.
Register below to watch my FREE CLASS
Confident Homeschool Secrets
7 Ways to Create a Homeschool That Works (and you LOVE!)
Hello. My name's ToriAnn Perkey and from my homeschool to your homeschool, today I want to talk about five steps you can take if your spouse is not on board with your homeschooling.
You know, in a perfect world every couple would be perfectly aligned, and if one wanted something the other would go along with it. But it doesn't always work out that way. And often a mom-- and I'm going to talk to the moms here cause it's usually the moms-- the mom is learning about homeschooling, she's feeling like it might be a good fit for her kids. Maybe she's started talking to people, and she mentions it to her spouse, and he is not on board.
And even if they're talking about it, and she's trying to explain why it would be a good idea, he is just not buying it. So today here's what I want to talk about. I want to talk about five steps you can take to hopefully get to a little bit more of a meeting of the minds if your spouse isn't on board with your homeschooling.
So number one, the first thing I recommend is try to have open communication. You know, if you are really starting to feel like homeschooling is a good fit for your family, and you really start to want it, it can be really hard to have objective conversations if your spouse isn't on board, and you can even take it personally.
If he isn't supporting you, you can feel like he doesn't care. He doesn't care about your children because he doesn't see why it's a good idea. So the first step I would recommend taking is try to have open communication. And when you're having this open communication, what that means is that you are trying to, without emotion involved, understand his fears and concerns.
Almost always if a spouse is not on board, it's because there's something that -- it's something or many things he's afraid of or he's concerned about. And those can run the gamut from how will they get into college to whether the house will be clean to whether you have the emotional ability to manage having kids home all the time. Or, you know, will they learn everything they need to learn or will ... How about, you know, will they be able to make friends?
You don't know what his concerns are if you don't ask. So trying to create a safe space where you can have an open dialogue and say, You know what ... What is it that you're concerned about? And don't immediately get defensive with whatever answers he gives you. Respond with, Okay, I can see that. And then work toward either finding answers that will answer that concern or saying, Well, how could we problem solve that s it could work. Looking for problems, solutions to the concerns and the fears, rather than dismissing them.
You don't want to be dismissive because they're real, and he cares about your kids too. He wants them to be successful and happy just like you do. And so it's good to listen and hear. And some of his concerns may be valid.
Like are you going to be able to handle the extra stress around the house or the time that you no longer have to give to these things that now go to your kids? Listen to those concerns and problem solve together.
Okay, the second step I recommend is have him talk to other homeschooled dads. So my husband did not like homeschooling when we first started. He was willing to give it a try, but he wasn't really on board. And I noticed that no matter how much I talked about it, or no matter how many things I tried to share with him or that I had learned, it didn't actually make a huge difference.
But when he started talking to other homeschool dads, whether they were at a conference or whether it was just at a community event or people we randomly met, that happened to homeschool-- when he talked to the Dads, his attitude started to change. There was something about the way they talked, what they said, the way they could address his concerns and fears that I was not able to do -- even with open communication. I knew what they were, but I couldn't address them.
So it's as he talked to them that he was able to start to feel really good about homeschooling. So my second recommendation is have him talk to other dads, find dads that he can talk to, who feel good about homeschooling and let them talk to him.
The third thing I want to recommend, the third step you can take if your spouse isn't on board is that you recommend that you take it one year at a time. Sometimes when we commit to something, it can feel really big and really huge, and you've got a six or a seven year old, and your husband is asking about college, Well, how are they going to get into college?
And one of the things you can do to kind of back out of that so that you can test the waters without feeling like you are overwhelming or committing to an idea that may or may not work. You say, You know what? Let's just try it for a year. Let's just try a year and see how it goes. If it goes, great, we can do it again. If not, we can problem solve and look at other solutions. This allows you to do a test run without fully committing. Even if you know you're fully committed.
For our family for years, we said, Let's just take it one year at a time. And then there was some point where we just stopped saying that, and I think it helped both my husband, and I feel like we could sit and move forward with the idea without feeling like we were freaked out about the idea.
Okay, so the fourth thing I recommend, the fourth way to try to help ... step to take if your spouse isn't on board is be open to modified solutions. It can be really easy to be reading about homeschooling and seeing all of these possibilities and want to dive in and be gungho100%, but if your spouse isn't on board because some of those ideas sound really radical, it might require that initially, not longterm, but initially you come to some middle ground. Whether that is, you know, if you're really drawn to radical unschooling, but he's worried about them filling in all their holes ... and I made other videos about that.
But you pull together, you say, Well, maybe we do some curriculum. Or maybe he's worried about them falling behind in math. So you say, Well, I'd like to try this way with this. Can I do this with the science, which is a little bit more up and down and all over the place in elementary school, but we'll still, you know, do 15 minutes of math every day or whatever. Look at finding a way to modify your vision so the two of you can have a meeting of the minds, and he's willing a little more willing to try to give it a go.
The last thing I want to recommend, the fifth way, the fifth step you can take if your home, if your spouse isn't completely on board with your homeschooling, is invite him to try to get a little bit of learning himself.
Now, this is kind of a minefield because some dads are all in and some are not. Some are readers, some like to listen. So if you've read certain books, or you've listened to certain podcasts, you can invite him to do those things. You can invite him to go to a homeschool conference with you and go to some classes. It's a great way to meet a dad or several dads that way. Or I have another option for you as well.
I have a free webinar. It's called Confident Homeschool Secrets. It's all about how you can successfully set up a homeschool so that it will be ...It will be successful so you'll feel confident. And it goes through different key fundamental principles that you need to have in order to have a successful homeschool. It's totally free, and you can sign up by just clicking the link up above or down below, you know, wherever you're watching this video, and then you can invite your husband to watch that.
I promise it's only an hour. It is an easy, easy thing to sit down and listen to. I'm going to give really practical application. I'm going to tell some stories, and I'm going to help you both feel a little bit more like homeschooling is doable and help people feel successful.
So if that sounds like something that he would be interested in, or if you'd be interested in, then be sure to click the link up above or down below and sign up for that. I'm ToriAnn Perkey, and I make these videos every week so that you can be a successful and confident homeschool mom.
My oldest is off to college in just a few weeks. (Yikes/Sob!)
It seems like only yesterday I was just at the beginning … trying to decide if homeschool was right for my family … learning how to homeschool.
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Now I’m looking back and realizing I’ve learned A LOT over the last 15 years.
And what I realized REALLY surprised me.
What I thought I would learn isn’t necessarily what I have learned … but I’m so grateful for what I’ve picked up along the way.
And I hope what I’ve learned can help you too (even if you’re just starting out on your homeschool adventure!)
So this week I’m sharing the top 5 things I’ve learned from 15 years of homeschooling.
Hello, this is ToriAnn Perkey, and from my homeschool to your homeschool, today,I want to talk about the five most surprising things I've learned over 15 years of homeschooling. That's right. I've been doing this for 15 years. My oldest is headed off to college. I've got a bunch of teenagers now and I've picked up a few things along the way. I knew I'd learn a lot, but there's some things I've been really surprised about, and that's what I want to share with you today.
So the first thing that just really surprised me is that my kids need me less and more than I thought they would. So my kids need me less because it is just phenomenal how much learning they actually do on their own. I know that over and over, people ask me, well, how do you teach high school this? Or how do you do this? And I say, well, we find the right resources, and they kind of just take care of it.
So a big part of this surprising learning, this surprising journey that I've been on is learning that they really do need me a lot less than I thought they would when I first started.
On the other hand, they need me a lot more. They need me to show up and be supportive emotionally in so many ways. And that's true of any teenager. They're also involved in so many different activities, and I'm volunteering and I'm helping and I'm teaching and I'm coordinating and I'm running the home.
They also need me to help create the vision and to help facilitate this educational journey. And it's time consuming to do that in a different kind of way. So rather than being at the table marking books with pencils or showing them how to do things, I've become more of a coordinator and a facilitator, which is a lot more than I thought it would. So that's the first thing that my kids need me more and less than I thought they would. First surprising thing.
The second thing that's really surprised me as my kids have gotten older is it's a lot harder to let go then I thought it would be. I assumed that because of my personality, I would be so excited to see them grow and progress and want them to move on and do exciting things and be involved in things.
But because they've been home and because I've been so involved with so many aspects of their educational experience for so long, as my teenagers and now my adult children are starting to really move beyond my sphere of influence, I find I'm having a little bit of trouble letting go -- the control part of me, the part that loved to be in all the pieces and know what was going on.
I really ... there's parts I really don't know much about anymore. And it's surprised me how much I miss being that involved. And not in a bad controlling type of way, but just a knowing and able to help and answer questions and help them see and coordinate. So it's been really interesting.
So the second thing I've learned ... that I've been surprised to learn is just that it's harder to let go of the role that I took on when they were little as they move out into the bigger world, which is of course what I want.
The third thing that I have been surprised to learn is that even with all of my efforts to try and do this, I still could have let them play more, and I could have worried less. I am watching my children become phenomenal adults, and as I watched the progression of that happen, even though ...
I mean it's not a smooth road, it's got bumps and hills and detours. I'm seeing them become these amazing people and realizing that the worry and the guilt and the frustration and the worry ... I could have let more of that go. There needs to be some of it because otherwise I wouldn't have done all the things I did, but the nights when I would lie in bed and think I'm ruining my children -- I'm realizing I could have done even less of that than I thought.
So number three surprising thing that I've learned is that I could have worried less and we could have played more.
The fourth thing, the fourth surprising thing is that I found my tribe, my people, my best friends in the homeschool community. I did not envision when we started that it would be as much for me as it was for my kids. That I would find people who were as invested in education, as invested in child development, as invested in raising adults that were successful, contributing members of society, were as invested in learning all about different subjects, were as invested in creating community.
All of the things that I cared about, I didn't realize how much I was going to love interacting with other women who cared about the same things. So the fifth-- the fourth most surprising thing about all of this, this homeschool journey, is that I found my best friends in the homeschool community.
The fifth thing, the fifth most surprising thing, I think that I've learned in this in this 15 years is that I didn't get bored. So little disclosure, I'm really good at starting projects and not finishing them. I'm really good at gung-ho, get going, super excited, but at some point I'm going to trickle out and lose attention span and move on to other things. And I have a wake of fairly large projects in my life that testify to that. I never have lost my love for homeschooling. I've never gotten bored.
And I think it's because my kids are constantly changing. They're constantly growing. They're constantly becoming new and different, and they're engaged in new things, that we're learning new things. There's always a lot of new, and it kept me excited. And the year would come to an end and then we'd plan and then we'd start a new year.
So it was projects in chunks maybe, I don't know. But I've just been so surprised to recognize as I look back that I am not bored and I haven't lost interest. I'm still as excited and is engaged to get up and get started and do it as I was 15 years ago. And that is pretty dang mind boggling.
So I hope some of these Aha moments have been helpful for you. If you'd like more help. I have a free Homeschool Help Center that I would love to invite you to be a part of. It has a variety of free resources in it that will help you be a successful and confident homeschool parent, and it's super easy to join. There's no cost. There's a link up above or down below, you know, wherever you're watching this video. You click on that link, you'll give me a little information, and then you're in, and you can take advantage of all of those resources. I'd love to offer that to you so you can be as excited about your homeschooling as I am about mine.
I'm ToriAnn Perkey and from my homeschool to your homeschool, I make these videos every week so that you can be a successful and confident homeschool mom.
Over 15 years, I've learned a lot about how to homeschool -- from creating lesson plans to handling the hard days. Check out the 5 most surprising things I've learned about homeschooling my kids! | tips to homeschool | home education | homeschooling students | homeschool socialization |
Ah … the joys of homeschool planning.
The year spreads before you -- a blank slate -- ready to be filled.
What will you do? What will you learn? Where will you go?
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Maybe you’re excited. Maybe you’re overwhelmed.
Either way, planning a yearly, weekly, and daily schedule is something that homeschool families will do at least once a year.
(Or if you’re like me, you’ll plan and then revise several times a year!)
I’ve been planning my homeschool for over 15 years, and I’ve learned a few key ideas along the way to make my homeschool simpler and easier.
And to make sure that when I get to the end of the year, I feel awesome about what we accomplished!
These are 3 key ideas I recommend you do BEFORE you dive into which subject on which day at which time …
OR … what fieldtrip you want to take each month (or week!) …
No matter what style of homeschool you choose to do.
(And don’t forget to grab my free planning template after you’re done watching.)
Download my One-Page Homeschool Year Planning Template to help you have a successful homeschool year.
Hey guys, ToriAnn Perkey here, and from my homeschool to your homeschool, are you in the middle of planning your next homeschool year? If you're anything like me, you probably are. It is time to figure out what are you going to teach your kids this whole coming school year, and if you're in the middle of that, today, I want to tell you the top three things that I recommend you do when you're in the throes of the planning.
Because planning can be fun, but it can also feel a little overwhelming because there are so many options, and you can start to feel overwhelmed. So let's take it back just a step and help you come up with just a a way to calm down so that you can plan successfully for your next home school year. Okay?
Tip Number 1 -- plan less than you think you can accomplish. There is no way you're going to get everything done in any particular curriculum, particularly if you pick lots. And if you're not a curriculum homeschooler, then you're not going to get every field trip and every book and every movie and every documentary. You're not going to get all of that done. So it's good to plan, but you can plan a lot less.
And kind of a little bonus side tip here, don't print out the whole school year. Just don't. If you do, it's wasted paper. It's wasted ink, and it's wasted cost. Do a few weeks, see if the kids like it, and then invest in a printing experience. I've had years in the past where I've printed out reams and reams and reams only to have it go into the recycling bin because it turned out it didn't work out for my kids. So we always now try it out before we print, and we never ever print everything all at once. Because I know we're probably not going to get through it all in the amount of time that I hope you do. So tip number 1,, plan less than you think you can accomplish.
Okay. Tip number 2 -- set major milestone goals. Not little Itty bitty goals, but just major milestone goals at the beginning of the year. Look to the end and say, "Where do I hope my kid has gotten by the end of the year?" For example, if you have a child who is just ...do you think they're just on the cusp of reading? You might set a goal that they are reading a certain amount by the end. Or if you're trying to teach a certain math concept or you're trying to get to a certain point in their math, and you're setting a goal that you'll get to that major milestone by the end of the year. Do not do not set a lot of these, set a few.
What you're going to do is you're going to write them down, and then you're going to go look at them at the end of the year, and you're going to weigh whether or not you got there. And I'm going to tell you, if you are careful about not setting too many, and you plan to spend consistent time on the few that you do set, then you will be pleasantly surprised how many of those goals are achieved at the end of the year, which helps you feel like the year has actually been successful, which is not always the case if you don't keep track of the major goals that you're trying to accomplish.
Tip number 3 is create a one-page grid overview of your schooling plan. Even if you have lots of plans and lots more written down, create a one-page overview. And if you have more than three or four kids, you're probably going to need two pages open like this so you can see it all at once. But the goal is to be able to just put it in front of you and look at it and survey what the entire plan for the year is.
And obviously in one page you're not going to be able to fit very much because you're going to have every subject and every kid, but what this allows you to do is quickly just get a sense of what are we trying to hit in all the key areas that are areas that are important to you, whether it be math, language, arts, maybe foreign language or physical education or their spiritual development. You know, whatever is important to you is going to be on that list and then you're able to look at that and get a sense of, yeah, I've kind of covered all the bases.
Now if you would like a free printable of a grid just to print out of examples of the subjects that I cover and what it looks like, then go ahead and click the link up above or down below. It's going to take you to my free homeschool help center, which includes a printable grid that you can print out that's blank that you can fill out with your kids, as well as several other really helpful things for homeschoolers.
There's reading lists in there. There's a college planning list. There's some different things, and for all different ages of homeschoolers. So if you would like a grid that you can print out, click the link up above or down below, wherever you're watching this video, and you can go grab it. So that's my 3 top plannings tips for the new year. Hopefully they'll be helpful.
And I'm ToriAnn Perkey, and I make these videos every week so that you can be a successful and confident homeschool mom.
Are you researching homeschooling?
Are you ready to take the plunge … but aren’t sure where to start?
Deciding to educate your kids yourself is a big job and can feel super overwhelming … but it doesn’t have to.
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The trick is to step back and get grounded before you begin.
In today’s video, I’m covering 5 key things I recommend any mom do when she’s first starting out.
These are key things that will help you whether you are beginning with a preschooler or a kindergartener … OR you’re pulling your kids out of middle school or high school.
I recommend you do these things before you --
Or even learn the laws of your state
Seriously. These 5 need to come first.
Then you can do everything else on the list above. 🙂
Register to watch my FREE CLASS
Confident Homeschool Secrets
7 Ways to Create a Homeschool That Works (and you LOVE!)
Hello. My name's ToriAnn Perkey, and from my homeschool to your homeschool, today I want to talk about how to start homeschooling, especially if you're feeling overwhelmed.
You know, you're just sitting there, you're thinking, I need to get started, or I'm thinking about starting and there are just so many things. And I don't know if I can do this. And the thoughts are swirling in your head, and you're feeling overwhelmed. I want to take just a little bit of that overwhelm out today. We're going to talk about five things that you can do right at the very beginning to get you settled and get you going just a little bit better.
So the first one I want to talk about is Breathe. You've got this. You have decided to homeschool your children. You are the number one person who is going to be able to do this. You are going to figure it out because you're taking the time to do the research, to read, to watch videos like this and other videos. You're talking to people. So breathe. You're going to figure it out.
And that actually leads right into number two. Give yourself permission to take the time to figure it out. You cannot figure it all out in one day. It is a really big task. You are taking on the responsibility of educating your children. You know that. This is not something you're going to figure out in 15 minutes. So give yourself permission that it's going to take time. Give yourself the time to figure it out and not just before you start, but also as you get going. You're still going to be figuring this out. I've been doing this for a really long time. I am still figuring things out, so give yourself permission.
Number three, remember that nothing you do in your homeschool will ever be perfect. It's impossible. No matter how much you plan, no matter how much you try, no matter how much you think you have it figured out, something will happen to change everything. That's the nature of kids. That's the nature of homeschooling. So right now, remind yourself it's not going to be perfect and that's okay because done is better than perfect. If you get started, if you dig in, if you start trying, you're going to figure things out that you can't even figure out until you get started. So give yourself permission to not let it be perfect.
Okay, number four. Number four is remember that you're the Mama. Remember that you love your kids more than anybody else. And because of that you have a special connection, a special awareness, a special ability to know what they need. And because of that you are the best suited person to figure out the very best thing that they are going to need. And in your homeschool, you're going to custom and tailor and tweak and turn and get it just where it needs to be. And then things are going to shift, and you're going to tailor and twist and tweak and turn again. But because you're the Mama, you're not going to give up and you're not going to let anything keep you from figuring it out.
Number five -- the number five most important thing I recommend if you're just starting out and you want to figure this out is to create a vision for your homeschool. You need to know how, how to get from point a to point B and the way you figure that out is by knowing where point B is. It's by looking ahead and saying, where do I want this to end? And that's going to be different for you as it is for me as it for is for every other homeschool moms. So you can't look at someone else and say, I just want that vision. You can look at lots of visions and say that's ...and pick and choose and then create the one that's right for your family.
Now if you want some help doing step five, I actually have a free webinar that I would love to have you come take a look at. It's called Confident Homeschool Secrets. And one of the things we do in that webinar is we talk about how you create a vision for your homeschool. It's completely free. If that's something that you'd be interested in, just check out the link up above or down below. You know, wherever you're watching this video, and you can go check ...and you can go watch it and hopefully it will help you not only create a vision, but it will also talk about six other key things that you need to know in order to really get your homeschool in an awesome place. And it's all for you for free. So just check on that link up above, down below, wherever you're watching this video.
So five things, how to get started homeschooling. Number one, above everything else, breathe and remember, you've got this. I'm ToriAnn Perkey, and I make these videos every week so that you can be a successful and confident homeschool mom.
Are you temporarily homeschooling during the national shutdown?
You may also want to check out Temporary Homeschooling: How to School at Home During an Emergency.
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Does this sound familiar?
Your older kids are finally ready to learn … sitting with books or on the couch. You’ve got everything settled and your homeschool can actually get started.
AND … the baby starts to scream.
Or your toddler is pulling at the book and won’t let you read.
I totally get it! My youngest was just like that. And it was so frustrating.
But I figured out how to homeschool AND still give my youngest the attention he needed.
So today I’m going to share several ways that you can successfully homeschool with your baby or toddler.
Hello, My name's ToriAnn Perkey, and from my homeschool to your homeschool, today I want to talk about a question I get asked a lot. How do you homeschool with a baby or a toddler? This is a really good question.
You know, I have four kids. And for a lot of years, while I was trying to homeschool my kids, there was a baby and a toddler - or a toddler - crawling on my legs, sitting on my lap, demanding attention while I was also trying to do school. And I'm here to tell you there are days when it is hard. But there are ways to make it easier. And so today that's what I want to talk about.
How do we do this? And I have five things that I want to cover. Five kind of general principles or ideas that you can try, some of which you may have heard before. And some of which may be you haven't. So let's get started.
Number one. You can do school during nap time. This is one that a lot of people talk about, and they recommend as kind of an easy way to get school done. Put the kid down for a nap. Put the baby down for the nap. Put the toddler down for a nap, until they stop napping, and then get out the math books.
So I think this has value, and I know it works for a lot of people, but I'm going to tell you a little secret. It never worked for me because when it was nap time, I needed a break. And I needed all my kids to take a break, not just the baby or the toddler. I was really tired. My brain was fried. So while this is a doable option, it might not be the best option if you find that nap time is when you get to reclaim a little bit of your mom brain so you could be sane for the rest of the day.
Okay, so the second thing that you can try that I have seen work is that you can create activities to keep them occupied, that you only bring out during school time. Whether this is puzzles or crafts or, you know, some kids actually like to do the schoolwork, and then the toddler will get out their own little paper and do the work sheet - their version of the worksheet. It is something that can work.
On the other hand, I will say that depending on the kid, this is a mixed bag. If you have a kid who delights in as much about making a mess as they do about doing the activity, it's probably not gonna work for you. Also, if you have a kid that bounces from activity activity about every 30 seconds, that toddler - that's not gonna work for you either. But if you have a toddler who will sit and engage in an activity, and you can be engaged in all those activities simultaneously, then it's something to consider.
The third thing that I want to talk about - that as an idea to try - is if you have older kids and younger kids, older kids and toddler baby - what you could do is you can rotate who is assigned to play with the toddler baby while you're homeschooling with another child. This works particularly well if you're doing a math assignment or you're working on reading - you know those type of homeschooling where you really do need that one on one time. And so you have another sibling assigned to be in charge of the baby or to be in charge of the toddler. And that can work if you can equally distribute the time. And as long as the older siblings are all kind of equally able to take care of the baby and toddler. I never had the luxury of that because my kids were so close together. But I have also heard that that works. Something to consider, something to consider.
Now, the fourth thing that I want to recommend - the fourth way that possibly you could balance this whole baby-toddler thing with the homeschooling - is to set some expectations for your toddler. This one kind of delves into the discipline area, and it can be a little ... I just I want to tread carefully because I totally understand that some kids are easier to discipline than others. I had some that were super easy, and I had some where you would have thought we didn't have any discipline in our house because of the way they behaved with discipline. So totally get that. But I also know that it is okay and appropriate to set boundaries about appropriate behavior.
Let me give you an example. When my youngest was a baby and a year old, he delighted in ruining reading time on the couch. I’d have my other kids. We'd have the book open. We'd all be reading. And he would come up, and he would pull on the book. Or he would pound on my legs. Or he'd pound on the book. Or he tried to climb on my lap. He was super disruptive because he wanted attention at a time when it was inappropriate. And he was not interested in sitting and doing anything else. He wanted my attention.
Well, I needed to set a boundary and tell him that wasn't okay. So for quite a long time - I want to say probably 4, 5 maybe even 6 months - he sat in a high chair in the same room, separated. And he was eating a snack while we read. He was … we could see the kitchen from the couch, and he would sit and eat, but he was contained. Now that worked for a while, but then he started to get loud, and he would make so much noise that being contained wasn't enough. So at that point during the 15-20 minutes that we read, he sat in his crib in his bedroom. It was not torture. It was not painful. And as soon as we were done, I would go and get him. And every day I would explain. I would explain to him that as soon as he could learn how to not be disruptive, he would be allowed to join us for this really fun time that we were having. And it took him a while, but he finally learned that it was more fun to be a part of the family than to be apart from the family.
So something to consider is to put boundaries and to build appropriate behavior training into this time. And if your kids do not let you homeschool to find ways for them to understand that … now I am not recommending, absolutely not, that you put a child in the crib for hours and hours and hours. I'm just not. That would not be appropriate. We're talking for short, contained periods of time where the kid can quickly - or maybe not so quickly in my son's case - learn what is not appropriate behavior.
Now the fifth thing that I want to talk about is kind of adjusting the way that you see your homeschool. A beautiful article that was written years ago about how the baby is the lesson. And when a baby is first born ... when a baby comes into the home, expecting that everything is going to be the same is like expecting that your life is not going to change because you just brought a new human into your house. It's just not gonna happen.
And so if you have a new baby, it is okay to take a break. It's okay to allow yourself to do a lot less. When my baby's came into our home, I would take a couple months off. We would do educational things, including watching educational videos. We would listen to books on tape ... books on tape and then CDs on tape and now audios I. But I was too tired to read, and I was too tired to do most of the fun things that I would plan at other times in our homeschool. I just couldn't do it. And so homeschool very much looked like “What does real life look like when Mom has a baby?” Which, frankly, I think is actually a really good thing to teach kids that life has a rhythm and things change. And sometimes we do a lot, and sometimes we do a little. So adjusting your expectations for your homeschool is also a really excellent way to try to do the baby-toddler thing.
All right, so I have just given you five different ways to handle the whole baby-toddler thing. While you're trying to homeschool babies and toddlers, they are just one of many ways that were trying to balance our home and our homeschool. I get that.
So if you're interested, I've actually written a small pdf book - super quick read - on other ways to balance home and homeschool so that you're not just homeschooling and letting the house fall apart. But you're not just focusing on the house and then letting your homeschool fall apart. It's of way to successfully do both. It's totally free, and I'm going to put a link either up above or down below this video, wherever you're watching it. If you're interested in grabbing that free book, go ahead and click the link, and it is yours.
I'm ToriAnn Perkey, and I make these videos every week so that you can be a successful and confident homeschool mom.
If I could gift this book to EVERY new homeschooler, I would.
Seriously … if you are trying to plan what homeschool curriculum to buy, this is the ONLY book you’ll probably need.
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Whether you're planning for your first year of kindergarten OR you're planning to start with high school, this book has everything you need.
Cathy Duffy’s book has been around forever -- for good reason.
If you don’t have it, by the end of my video -- you’ll want it.
Promise!
Register below to watch my FREE CLASS
Confident Homeschool Secrets
7 Ways to Create a Homeschool That Works (and you LOVE!)
Transcript
Hello! My name is ToriAnn Perkey, and from my homeschool to your homeschool, I want to tell you today about the very first book I always recommend every new homeschooler grab. Before they ever look at a specific curriculum, before they ever look at a specific way to set up their home, this is the book. Because if you get this book, then everything else gets easier. It is the "102 Top Picks for Homeschool Curriculum" by Cathy Duffy and if you have not heard about this book, your life is about to change.
Here's what I love about this book. Cathy Duffy started as a curriculum reviewer. She would go through and review different curriculum. She would talk about why they worked and why they didn't, and she would only pick the best. So, she didn't include everything she looked at. Over time, her book that she put out became kind of the bible for how to figure out how to pick a curriculum for your kid or what are the other things that you could pick up that would be interesting for your kid. I have found some of my amazing resources in her stuff.
Then she became so -- I don't know -- famous, popular at what she was doing -- that she then built a website. Because if you only do 102, you really can't fit everything that's out there. So her website which is also -- the way I always find it is I just do homeschool reviews Cathy Duffy and it's Cathy with a C. But when you find her website, then there's so much more you can look at. But here's why I trust her reviews.
The beginning of the book -- and this is why I think it's the first book you buy is -- the beginning of the book starts with talking about what is the style of homeschooling you want to do. And then it goes on, and it says what is the personality of your children. And she has her own way of describing them that very much aligns with how I like to kind of break things into different categories. Then she goes into thinking about when are we going to learn things and what is important for us to learn, and she doesn't tell you one way. She gives you some basic foundational principles that work to figure out what works best for you, and I subscribe to those ideas 100 percent.
If you've watched my homeschooling 101 whether it's been online or whether you've been to one of my classes, this is the model that I choose to follow whenever I'm inviting a new homeschooler to kind of really think about what they're doing because this is going to set you up in the right way. Then once you've gone through that the rest of the book -- you see all of that? So, like that much is what I just described.
The rest of the book is curriculum reviews, and it's not just a couple of sentences. It is paragraphs and paragraphs about why it works, who it works for, which type of personality it's going to be best for, what kind of style it's going to be best for. This is one-stop shopping. One-stop shopping, and I know that when you're a homeschool mom and you're feeling overwhelmed and there's a lot to try to figure out, this is the place to start.
So, if you're going to buy one thing for your homeschool, this is the one. This is where you begin. This is what you get. After you've gotten this, you'll know what else to get if you're going to get anything at all. It's where you need to start.
Alright. If it's something that you think would be helpful for your homeschool, check the link up above or down below. I leave it wherever it is, but it kind of depends on what you're watching this particular video on.
I'm ToriAnn Perkey, and I make these videos every week so that you can be a super successful and confident homeschool mom.
Whether you're a new homeschool mom just trying to figure things out ...
OR you've been homeschooling for awhile but things seem to be falling apart ...
And you feel like you can't find the answers you're looking for that would just make everything all better ...
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This post is for you. 🙂
Because I have something to admit …
Right now one of my kids is really struggling with math.
And despite everything I’ve done, I can’t seem to find something that will work for this kid.
So I thought I’d make a short video to explain what I’m going to do. Hopefully, it will help.
Register below to watch my FREE CLASS
Confident Homeschool Secrets
7 Ways to Create a Homeschool That Works (and you LOVE!)
Hello, my name’s ToriAnn Perkey and from my homeschool to your homeschool, can I just be vulnerable for a minute and tell you something we're kind of struggling with in my homeschool right now?
You know I like to make these videos, and I talk about all the cool stuff we do and all the cool things we use and like to give you guys lots of resources and tips, but want you to know it is not all peaches and cream over here on my side of the fence. There are some times when we really, really struggle.
And right now we are really, really struggling with one of my kids and math. And this is not for lack of effort on this kid's part. This is not for lack of effort on my part. I have researched. I have looked for different options. We have tried different curriculum. We have tried playing games. We have tried, and this kid has reached a point in math where it's just getting hard.
It's way past abstract. it's way past just memorizing or doing the facts. Qnd it's really become abstract. And their brain is just not clicking with the abstract. And there are tears, and it's frustrating -- for me and for them. And you know, part of me just keeps saying, Hey, keep trying. We'll explain it another way.
But it's really affecting our homeschool because this kid is so frustrated and they want to give up and they wanted ...they're just done with math. And they're so, so frustrated. And I thought a lot about ... I've been thinking about it. I was like, Okay, well it's not okay to give up. Right?
So we've got to keep working. We've got to keep trying. But right now I'm trying to make the decision of whether or not we pull back and just pause and do other things, or whether I go searching for yet another solution for this kid who just does not seem to grasp these abstract mathematical concepts. Or do I hire a tutor or do I try to find a class that they can take?
I'm wrestling with all these questions. And the reason I wanted to make this video is I wanted to tell you guys that this is part of the process. It's not like you find,...I mean sometimes you find the perfect curriculum and you're off to the races and you're done.
But there's a lot of times where you don't always find the perfect thing. Or your kids -- you start out and it's working and then your kids change. They get older, you know, or you add a baby, or life just gets different. And when that happens or ... the material gets harder, right? Like it just gets harder. And suddenly what was fun isn't fun anymore. And I think that it can be really easy to get discouraged and think that you're doing something wrong when in fact you are living a homeschool life.
And homeschooling means that you are constantly in observation and problem-solving mode. And I'm always watching -- Is this working?
And if it's not working, what do I need to do? Do I need to just push? Do they need to work a little bit harder? Do I need to find a different resource? Do I need to approach it differently? Do I need to look at myself? Am I causing a problem? Like I'm looking at everything when I'm doing this.
And when I'm willing to take the time. And it doesn't always like solve all at once, right? Sometimes we don't get the answer right away. I don't get the answer right away. And for me it also includes prayer and it includes, you know, thinking and meditation and pondering and journaling sometimes. And I'm just, What is ... what's the next step?
And when you embrace that, that's part of the homeschooled journey. When you embrace that, you shift to a different mindset about homeschooling. It's no longer about are we doing it right, but are we doing it so that it works right now?
So I wanted to tell you guys that. I wanted to tell you guys that even though there's this situation with this kid and in the moment we're frustrated and it's hard, I'm not giving up. I'm not going to let them give up. We might take a break, but we're going to figure it out. We are going to figure it out because I've seen that happen over and over again.
If we figure ... if we take our time, if we're thoughtful, if I look -- answers show up. The right people show up. The right resources show up. Things happen and line up and I'm open to all the possibilities. I don't shut anything down because I want to make sure that I'm finding the one that's going to be the right one.
And I'm not talking about like I'm spending hours and hours and hours researching curriculum every night. I mean I am doing some research because I'm looking for something new, and I'm asking people questions and all of that. I'm just talking about taking the time to let the idea percolate and work in my brain and to pause to hear answers.
And so yeah guys, it's not all a walk in the park and sometimes things are kind of rough. And I'm not giving up and I don't want you to give up because I promise you're going to find an answer. You will find an answer that works for you and your kid if you stay in problem-solving, answer-finding mode. Because that's what this is all about.
I'm ToriAnn Perkey, and I make these videos every week so that you can be a super successful and confident homeschool mom.
