Poetry has always been a HUGE part of our homeschool because I’ve seen how it makes better writers and stronger readers. (I talk all about that it my post about creating great writers.)

And Carolyn Kennedy’s poetry anthologies -- oh, I love them!

Not only is it beautiful to read but it’s also beautiful to look at, which means it works for multiple ages as you’re all trying to homeschool together.

CLICK HERE to check it out for your homeschool:

A Family of Poems: My Favorite Poetry for Children
https://amzn.to/2BQn2QX

Poems to Learn by Heart
https://amzn.to/2DZ4eRk

Hello, my name's ToriAnn Perkey, and from my homeschool to your homeschool, today I want to tell you about a resource that is as much a feast for the eyes as it is for the ears. It's a poetry resource that my kids and I have loved for years. We've loved reading it, we've loved looking at it, and we've loved memorizing the poems. It is Caroline Kennedy's "A Family of Poems," and then her second volume "Poems to Learn by Heart."

You guys, these are amazing. Now in previous videos I've talked about the value of poetry. I've talked about how poetry makes great writers. And I can tell the difference between writers -- kids who have read poetry and kids who haven't, who've heard it because that feast of the words, the way the rhythm and the language and the cadence, all of that comes together. It starts to show up in their writing.

So I believe that poetry is something that should be included in every homeschool in some way or another. That's just part of how I see it. So we've done poetry for years and I've looked at a lot of different poetry resources. But this is one of my favorites. And let me show you why. So first of all, Caroline Kennedy, if you don't know, is ... she's actually JFK son. Son? She's JFK's daughter. And this is kind of her own lasting legacy. One of the things that she's done.

And in these books, let me just find an example, the pictures are watercolors. Do you see that? Can you see how beautiful those pictures are? Let me find another example. You know, some are more landscapes like that. Let me see if I can get that to show to you. Others are going to be a little bit more ... oh this is a really great example. See that knight there? And that's a poem called "A Fairy and Armor." And then here's one. The poem is called "This Is the Key." And then it's a window and a dog and a little boy here with the key. These pictures are just so delightful. Just, oh they're so good.

But if it was just the pictures, I wouldn't necessarily recommend the book because there's lots of books and lots of poetry books that have beautiful pictures. It is also the poems that are selected. So like I said, I have read a lot of children's poetry anthologies and frankly, sometimes you start to feel like you're seeing all the same poems over and over and over again. And yes, some of the favorites are in these, but there are also deliciously wonderful poems that I had never read before in all of my years of homeschooling, in all of my education.

I also love ...so I love the fact that she's made that kind of selection. I also love the fact that she's included some Bible verses that are also poetry, like the ecclesiastical section ... the Ecclesiastes section that talks about there's a time for sowing, there's a time for reaping. You remember that ...you know. So her poems span the range from very, very old to brand new. They're very modern, contemporary, scripture as well as funny.

She has them in categories as well. So you have seasonal poems, and you have poems about the city, and you have poems about childhood, and you have funny poems. I really, really find these to be two of my favorite anthology books for children, which is why I am recommending them today.

So if it's something that you think would be great for your homeschool, be sure to check it out. I'll leave a link up up above or down below, you know, wherever you're watching this video. And you can go check it out on Amazon and see if it's something right for you.

I'm ToriAnn Perkey, and I make these videos so that you can be a successful and confident homeschool mom.

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After 15+ years of homeschooling, my oldest is off to college in the fall.

And I have three more kids -- ages 12 to 16 -- who are still homeschooling.

So we have a lot of teenagers at my house right now. And homeschooling teenagers is different than homeschooling young kids.

They’re more independent.

They can make their own lunch and they can do all their own laundry. And, joy, they can drive themselves to activities once they have a license!

But homeschooling teenagers is definitely a different ballgame BECAUSE they are more independent.

You have to approach it differently. You have to structure your day AND your expectations differently.

And the #1 secret to homeschooling teenagers is what I’m going to share today …

It’s a secret that was shared with me years ago by a veteran homeschool mom and now I’m sharing it with you. 🙂

Transcript

Hello, ToriAnn Perkey here, and today I want to talk about the number one secret rule when it comes to homeschooling a teenager. I have four kids. They're all in teenager mode. And this year I just graduated my first teenager. Officially, she's headed off to college in the fall, and I'm so excited for her. That means that I officially homeschooled her the entire way through her educational experience all the way from kindergarten.

We actually started in preschool up through 12th grade. And I can't take all the credit. Of course she worked so hard and she is going to go off and do amazing things. And so now that I'm looking back and thinking “What was the hardest thing? What was the secret that I kind of wish I could share with other people about what it took to go from point A to point B with her specifically as a teenager?” And I want to tell you that I think the very hardest thing is actually trusting that she was going to turn out.

Okay, now I know that every teenager is unique, but I'm here to tell you there is a time period in that teenage stage where you look at that kid and you think there is no way that child is going to turn out. There is no way. And it's usually 12, 13, 14. And I know because right now I'm looking at my 12 and my 14 and even my 16, and I think there is no way this child is going to turn out.

And that's what I used to think about my daughter. I used to think she ... she's quirky. She had these quirks that I thought were there was no way she was going to grow out of them. She was really, really distracted all of the time. She had such a hard time getting her schoolwork done. She would take forever getting her assignment completed. She would worry about assignment. She would freak out about assignments. We had fits about writing papers, and we had lots and lots of stress when it came to you know how to do math. And and I would look at her and I would think, “How does this kid become a successful adult?” That's where I would think.

And now I'm looking at her and I'm realizing ... I'm realizing that she has turned somehow, miraculously, into a successful adult. And I don't think it's because we did anything all that special. I think I just needed to trust the process. Trust that her brain was going to kick in. Trust that all these things we were doing we're going to work. And so now that I look at my 12 and my 14 in my 16, I'm working really hard to trust the process there -- to trust that their embryonic adulthood state is going to turn into something amazing as long as we continue along the path that we are going on.

So that's my number one secret rule about getting this homeschooling thing working for your teenagers. It's that you have to trust that what they look like. A 12, 13, 14, 15, even 16 is not what they're going to look like at 18 and beyond. Isn't that exciting and hopeful? I find so much hope in that. So that's my my tip for you today -- my tip.

Now I have other tips that I'd like to offer you as well. I have a special college master list. It's really cool. It's something we started a long time ago with my daughter. I've got one for all my other kids. And it's an easy, easy way to keep track of everything they're doing so that when they get to ... you get to that application stage, you have it all mapped out for you. And it's free in my Homeschool Help Center. Just click on the link above or down below -- you know, wherever you're watching this video. You can go grab that master college list for free.

And I have several other helpful things for you in that Homeschool Help Center as well. And those are for you just to ... you know, help your homeschool be a little bit better, just like these videos. Because you know, I'm ToriAnn Perkey, and I make these videos every week so that you can be a successful and confident homeschool mom.

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Does this sound familiar?

Your older kids are finally ready to learn … sitting with books or on the couch. You’ve got everything settled and your homeschool can actually get started.

AND … the baby starts to scream.

Or your toddler is pulling at the book and won’t let you read.

I totally get it! My youngest was just like that. And it was so frustrating.

But I figured out how to homeschool AND still give my youngest the attention he needed.

So today I’m going to share several ways that you can successfully homeschool with your baby or toddler.

Video

Transcript

Hello, My name's ToriAnn Perkey, and from my homeschool to your homeschool, today I want to talk about a question I get asked a lot. How do you homeschool with a baby or a toddler? This is a really good question.

You know, I have four kids. And for a lot of years, while I was trying to homeschool my kids, there was a baby and a toddler - or a toddler - crawling on my legs, sitting on my lap, demanding attention while I was also trying to do school. And I'm here to tell you there are days when it is hard. But there are ways to make it easier. And so today that's what I want to talk about.

How do we do this? And I have five things that I want to cover. Five kind of general principles or ideas that you can try, some of which you may have heard before. And some of which may be you haven't. So let's get started.

Number one. You can do school during nap time. This is one that a lot of people talk about, and they recommend as kind of an easy way to get school done. Put the kid down for a nap. Put the baby down for the nap. Put the toddler down for a nap, until they stop napping, and then get out the math books.

So I think this has value, and I know it works for a lot of people, but I'm going to tell you a little secret. It never worked for me because when it was nap time, I needed a break. And I needed all my kids to take a break, not just the baby or the toddler. I was really tired. My brain was fried. So while this is a doable option, it might not be the best option if you find that nap time is when you get to reclaim a little bit of your mom brain so you could be sane for the rest of the day.

Okay, so the second thing that you can try that I have seen work is that you can create activities to keep them occupied, that you only bring out during school time. Whether this is puzzles or crafts or, you know, some kids actually like to do the schoolwork, and then the toddler will get out their own little paper and do the work sheet - their version of the worksheet. It is something that can work.

On the other hand, I will say that depending on the kid, this is a mixed bag. If you have a kid who delights in as much about making a mess as they do about doing the activity, it's probably not gonna work for you. Also, if you have a kid that bounces from activity activity about every 30 seconds, that toddler - that's not gonna work for you either. But if you have a toddler who will sit and engage in an activity, and you can be engaged in all those activities simultaneously, then it's something to consider.

The third thing that I want to talk about - that as an idea to try - is if you have older kids and younger kids, older kids and toddler baby - what you could do is you can rotate who is assigned to play with the toddler baby while you're homeschooling with another child. This works particularly well  if you're doing a math assignment or you're working on reading - you know those type of homeschooling where you really do need that one on one time. And so you have another sibling assigned to be in charge of the baby or to be in charge of the toddler. And that can work if you can equally distribute the time. And as long as the older siblings are all kind of equally able to take care of the baby and toddler. I never had the luxury of that because my kids were so close together. But I have also heard that that works. Something to consider, something to consider.

Now, the fourth thing that I want to recommend - the fourth way that possibly you could balance this whole baby-toddler thing with the homeschooling - is to set some expectations for your toddler. This one kind of delves into the discipline area, and it can be a little ... I just I want to tread carefully because I totally understand that some kids are easier to discipline than others. I had some that were super easy, and I had some where you would have thought we didn't have any discipline in our house because of the way they behaved with discipline. So totally get that. But I also know that it is okay and appropriate to set boundaries about appropriate behavior.

Let me give you an example. When my youngest was a baby and a year old, he delighted in ruining reading time on the couch. I’d have my other kids. We'd have the book open. We'd all be reading. And he would come up, and he would pull on the book. Or he would pound on my legs. Or he'd pound on the book. Or he tried to climb on my lap. He was super disruptive because he wanted attention at a time when it was inappropriate. And he was not interested in sitting and doing anything else. He wanted my attention.

Well, I needed to set a boundary and tell him that wasn't okay. So for quite a long time - I want to say probably 4, 5 maybe even 6 months - he sat in a high chair in the same room, separated. And he was eating a snack while we read. He was … we could see the kitchen from the couch, and he would sit and eat, but he was contained. Now that worked for a while, but then he started to get loud, and he would make so much noise that being contained wasn't enough. So at that point during the 15-20 minutes that we read, he sat in his crib in his bedroom. It was not torture. It was not painful. And as soon as we were done, I would go and get him. And every day I would explain. I would explain to him that as soon as he could learn how to not be disruptive, he would be allowed to join us for this really fun time that we were having. And it took him a while, but he finally learned that it was more fun to be a part of the family than to be apart from the family.

So something to consider is to put boundaries and to build appropriate behavior training into this time. And if your kids do not let you homeschool to find ways for them to understand that … now I am not recommending, absolutely not, that you put a child in the crib for hours and hours and hours. I'm just not. That would not be appropriate. We're talking for short, contained periods of time where the kid can quickly - or maybe not so quickly in my son's case - learn what is not appropriate behavior.

Now the fifth thing that I want to talk about is kind of adjusting the way that you see your homeschool. A beautiful article that was written years ago about how the baby is the lesson. And when a baby is first born ... when a baby comes into the home, expecting that everything is going to be the same is like expecting that your life is not going to change because you just brought a new human into your house. It's just not gonna happen.

And so if you have a new baby, it is okay to take a break. It's okay to allow yourself to do a lot less. When my baby's came into our home, I would take a couple months off. We would do educational things, including watching educational videos. We would listen to books on tape ... books on tape and then CDs on tape and now audios I. But I was too tired to read, and I was too tired to do most of the fun things that I would plan at other times in our homeschool. I just couldn't do it. And so homeschool very much looked like “What does real life look like when Mom has a baby?” Which, frankly, I think is actually a really good thing to teach kids that life has a rhythm and things change. And sometimes we do a lot, and sometimes we do a little. So adjusting your expectations for your homeschool is also a really excellent way to try to do the baby-toddler thing.

All right, so I have just given you five different ways to handle the whole baby-toddler thing. While you're trying to homeschool babies and toddlers, they are just one of many ways that were trying to balance our home and our homeschool. I get that.

So if you're interested, I've actually written a small pdf book - super quick read - on other ways to balance home and homeschool so that you're not just homeschooling and letting the house fall apart. But you're not just focusing on the house and then letting your homeschool fall apart. It's of way to successfully do both. It's totally free, and I'm going to put a link either up above or down below this video, wherever you're watching it. If you're interested in grabbing that free book, go ahead and click the link, and it is yours.

I'm ToriAnn Perkey, and I make these videos every week so that you can be a successful and confident homeschool mom.

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But regardless of the age they learned, the moment when things really click and they could independently read was magical.

And each time they made the big transition from simple-sentence books to chapter books -- this series is the one that I used. (I wrote about our simple-sentence readers here.)

Today I’m going to tell you why.

My guess is when I’m done -- you’ll want a copy of the series in your home library as well. 🙂

CLICK HERE to check out Moongobble and Me for your homeschool.

Video

Transcript

Hello. My name's ToriAnn Perkey, and from my homeschool to your homeschool, today I want to tell you about the first chapter book readers I always start my kids out.

These are the books that every single one of my four children made the transition from reading kind of just struggling and figuring it out to, you know, sight reading and working so hard into the chapter book phase. Every single one of my children.  And I just stumbled across these books one day. I don't remember how I found them, but I am so glad I did.

It's a series called “Moongobble and Me” by Bruce Coville, and you guys, there are five books in the series. There's the Dragon of Doom. And then there's the Weeping Werewolf, The Evil Elves, The Mischief Monster, and the Naughty Nork.

Let me tell you why I love these books as the first chapter books for kids who are learning how to read.

Well, first of all, it is the content. The content is just at that perfect level. It isn't too hard, but it isn't too easy. The content is a really good story. It's about a boy who gets connected with a wizard who's kind of a bumbling wizard, and he's always turning himself ... his spells are always getting messed up, and he's always turning himself into cheese. And there’s kind of a snarky toad that goes along. So it does have that element. And I will put the caution in here -- If you're a family that doesn't like magic, you won't like these books. But that's the only caution I have to put here.

The second ... so that's the first thing is I just find the story compelling with the characters. The second is the character is just a few years older than the age group of most of the kids who are reading. He's about 10 or 11, which makes it a very appealing book for kids who are often trying to learn how to read the stage.

The next thing that I like about the book is that the chapters … so first of all, the print is actually fairly big -- if you can see that -- and so the kids have a little bit … and the spacing in between the lines is also fairly large. They call that leading. And so because of that, it's easier for the kids to read.

Another thing that I really like is it has these delightful, delightful pictures. Do you see that? And they are spaced fairly evenly throughout the chapters, which makes the kids a little more excited when they have to read because they have those pictures to look forward to.

The chapters are only a few pages long, and so those early reading times when the kids are working through a chapter and they feel that sense of accomplishment, they don't have to go too far. And each chapter is that perfect bite size piece.

Okay, so that's why I love these books. And so far I could probably be describing a lot of books. So let me tell you a couple other reasons why these are always my go to favorites.

First of all, they are funny. They're really funny, and they're clean. Funny.

I like to describe there's a difference between clean funny and dumb funny and mean funny. And dumb funny is all the crass humor, the bathroom humor that you often see in books this age, particularly books targeted for boys. And mean funny is where the characters are mean to each other or snarky, and you don't see any of that in this. It's clean funny. It's smart funny. The kids laugh.

And more importantly, I'm laughing, too, even the second and the third time through the book, which is saying a lot, right? Because once you've read a book once, and you're reading with a kid who's struggling … ok, it takes a lot of patience. And this was actually something I enjoyed coming back, too, and reading again and again.

Furthermore, you have a situation where this kid is going to go off on adventures with a with a wizard. But the wizard insists that he go ask his mother first, and she gives her permission. The family unit is respected, and that mother figure is not only just, you know, in the background. But she's actually a respected figure that is treated as you would want a mother to be treated inside a subject material that often doesn't do that. And so I felt like I was also getting a little bit of that character development.

The last thing that I love about these books is that the peril is just right. There's enough peril that the kid actually is engaged in the story. But the peril isn't scary enough, and the endings are never scary enough, that even the most tender children are going to be bothered. There's moments where there's, for example, in this first one where they're scared they're going to go to this dragon. They're a little worried about it, and then within half a page they come across the dragon. It's this large, scary figure, and then it turns out to be this little itty bitty dragon that becomes their friend. And that's kind of the pattern throughout these books is that … it's not always the same plot, but it's this idea that the characters are really supporting one another. And when you get to the end, the characters that were the problem have actually helped support the story and helped the main characters.

And throughout the book, more family-centered values show up. I don't want to give too much away to take away from some of the fun. But let me just say that throughout these books, what I have found is that our kids and my kids enjoy them. I enjoy them. They feel like they strongly support all the things that I'm trying to teach my kids that are really important.

So if you are in the market for a really great series that's going to help jumpstart your kids reading, I strongly recommend Moongobble and Me. That's right. So if this is something that you think you'd be interested in, check the link up above or down below. You know, wherever you're watching this video, and yeah, I hope you enjoy it.

I'm ToriAnn Perkey, and I make these videos so that you can be a successful and confident homeschool mom.

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Several of you have reached out concerned that something might be wrong. Thank you for thinking of me and my family. 🙂

And yes … things were a little dicey for a bit.

So I took my own advice. And I took a break.

In this week’s video, I’m going to talk about what happened AND I’m going to share why you might need to take a break too!

Transcript

Hello, ToriAnn Perkey here and from my homeschool to your homeschool, I want to talk about the number one reason why YOU need to take a break.

Mama, homeschool Mama, you are doing a lot. I know because I'm doing a lot. And every homeschool mom I talk to is doing a lot. And you are not able to do everything 100% all of the time.

Let's think about everything that a homeschool mom is doing. A homeschool mom is managing a home, which includes -- I'm gonna make a list, but it will not include everything -- it includes meal prep and planning, which includes going to the grocery store and purchasing the groceries. It includes laundry. It includes cleaning up the house. (Hopefully a little bit, but maybe not nearly as much as you would like.) It includes driving kids two lessons. It includes character training. And so there's the housekeeping piece.

Then there's the “momming.” So there's the character training and the disciplining and the teaching values and the snuggling and the nurturing and the listening. And on top of that -- on top of that -- you are also planning and teaching and and coordinating field trips. And many of you are also helping run classes or involved in co ops or planning field trips that involve other people or park days. Oh you are doing a lot.

And on top of all of that, you're trying to maintain relationships with other key people in your life, whether it's a husband or other family members. You're trying to do that and you're trying to -- most likely you're trying to serve in other capacities, whether it's in the community or church. The list goes on and on and on, and at times you probably feel like I have felt where the weight of everything you're being asked to do is sitting so squarely on your shoulders that you think it's going to crush you.

Yeah, I've been there. I have I've had times where I feel like I have so much that I am responsible for that I don't know how I can humanly possibly drag myself out of bed to do one more thing. So if you're feeling the same way, or you sense that that's coming, it's really important to take a break. And not just even a little break, but possibly a big break.

One of the favorite things I do, of all the things that I do, is actually sharing and teaching in these videos. One of my very favorite things. But several months ago I was involved in a fairly serious car accident, and I hit my head and I had a concussion. And while I didn't want to believe it at the time, my brain just wasn't functioning as well.

On top of that, we had several other things happen in our homeschool, including all of my kids shifting all of the activities they wanted to do all of the same time. And I was taking on some additional work at our co op in which I had more responsibility, and there were other things going on in my family life and my extended family.

The weight was just a lot, and everything was so much, and I took my own advice -- I made this in a previous video. I took my own advice and I said, “What can I say no to?  What can I take off my plate -- even temporarily -- so that I can breathe?”

And the number one thing that I felt I needed to step back from was making these videos. And part of my heart just broke because I love making these videos. I love sharing. I love teaching. But I also knew that there was a lot of time involved in making these and that as I looked at the priorities and I looked at what I could cut out, this was one of the things.

And so I did take a break, and I didn't know if I would ever come back. I didn't know what it was going to look like. But life has a funny way of sort of sorting things out, and now I get to make them again. I get to make these videos, and I get to share, and I'm so excited.

And there's been other things that were on that priority list that now have fallen off the wayside. Because when you're homeschooling, just like when you're living life, your priorities are always kind of morphing and and changing and switching, and it's really important to consistently and consciously and intentionally be looking at that list of your priorities and saying, “What can I say No to? What can I let go of? What can I lower my expectations on over here so that I can excel where it really matters? Or what can I do to my mindset so that I can allow myself to lower the bar, maybe across the board right now because my life has shifted in a way that I have to do that?”

That is how you successfully manage your homeschool. And sometimes we take a break from homeschooling. Sometimes we take a break from doing other things. Sometimes we take a break from the things that we love the most. And it doesn't mean that we're never coming back to them. It just means that sometimes we need to take a break.

So not that you need this for me, but if you need to hear that someone will give you permission to step back, to re-prioritize and possibly take a break and say no to some things, then I am giving you permission to do that. I promise you -- you as a mom, as a homeschool mom and all the other things you're doing, you will figure out a way to breathe again. The wait will begin to lift, and you will be in a position to come back and revisit the things that matter the most to you and wish you the best.

I'm ToriAnn Perkey, and I make these videos every week so that you can be a successful and confident homeschool mom.

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They come out of nowhere …

You’re standing in the grocery store line … or at a family gathering … or at the park …

And someone lays a “really tough” homeschool question on you.

How do you respond?

What do you say?

No worries -- I’ve got your back. Here’s what you do ...

Transcript

Hello! My name is ToriAnn Perkey, and from my homeschool to your homeschool, today I want to talk about how you answer the really tough homeschool questions - the really tough ones, the ones that they come at you out of the blue maybe from a family member or a person in the grocery store line and you just kind of like, “Well… ???

They're hard, and we don't all get the same tough questions, but if you're homeschooling, you are going to get tough questions. So, how do you answer them? How do you answer those really tough questions in a way that makes you feel okay?

Well, you guys, here's the deal. There's no perfect way to answer a really tough question, and because there are so many different kinds of homeschooling questions, I can't really give you the perfect answer for any of them. I can give you some, and we could go on and on and on about those, but I want to talk more about the way you answer a tough question matters almost more than what you actually say.

Here’s the deal. When you answer a question, the way you say it, the tone of your voice, your body language -- those matter way more than the actual words. So, if you get asked a really tough question -- the kind that just throw you for a loop -- and you're like, “I don't know and I'm really worried too” and everything in your voice and your body language says, “I've no idea what I'm doing, and I think I'm destroying my children, and it's a train wreck at our house, and don't even come in my front door because you would see the dishes in the sink, and then the Cheerios all over the floor, and you would see that we haven't folded laundry in 3 weeks, and homeschooling is a train wreck but I just …” -- okay, if you do that, guys, guys, everything about you screams, “I have no idea what I'm doing and it's a train wreck.”

But you can get the same question, and if you can find it in you to stand strong with your feet firmly planted and your shoulders back -- even if you don't feel this -- like you are faking it. Pretend -- you're pretending, you're pretending even if you don't feel it -- and you say, “You know what? You're right. That is a tough question.” And label it a tough question. Say, “Here's what I'm currently thinking. Here's what I'm currently thinking,” which gives you space to change your mind, which gives you space to say I'm still figuring that out. Even if I'm just still figuring that out -- but here's what I'm currently working on or here's what we're currently doing.

Confidence in your voice and in your body language and the way you present that information -- what you're communicating to that other person is “I've got this. I've got this even though I have dishes in the sink, and there's Cheerios all over the floor, and I haven't folded laundry in 3 weeks. I've got this even though we just spent 2 weeks watching screens because we were sick. I've got this even though parts of my life are kind of messy and chaotic and I'm a hot mess. Even though … I've got this.”

If your body language says that, then it doesn't really matter the words you say to answer that really tough question, because what they hear is “I'm confidently handling that really tough question.”

So, that is my recommendation for you. And if you don't feel confident -- like if you're still learning the confidence thing -- I'm here to tell you pretend, pretend. Pull back your shoulders, plant your feet, look them in the eye, and take a deep breath, and say, “That's a really tough question and here's what I'm currently thinking.”

If you can do that, their energy will shift and everything will go more smoothly.

I'm ToriAnn Perkey, and I make these videos every week so that you can be a super successful and confident homeschool mom.

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Transcript

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And over the years we’ve tried all kinds of systems to try and keep screens from overwhelming our life.

BUT …

There are also times when using screens has SAVED my homeschool.

And now that my kids are older, I’m starting to understand that a lot of what I worried about I didn’t need to worry about.

So when did my kids ONLY watch screens? You’re about to find out ...

Transcript

Hey guys! ToriAnn Perkey here, from my homeschool to your homeschool, I have a little confession. There have been times in my homeschool where we have watched a lot of screens as in like months of screens. Is that even okay to say?

Kind of debated whether to say this or not because I don't want to give anybody permission to just watch screens all the time but I think sometimes we hear about these amazing homeschool families and like they don't ever do screens or you feel like you are the only one who plops your kid down in front of screens and I wanted to make this video and talk about this because there have been times in our homeschooling life where we watched a lot of screens.

A couple of the times were every time I had a new baby they just weren't sleeping. I was tired -- like new baby recovery was always really hard for me. So, we watched a lot of screens while I was recovering.

There's also been times when my kids have been super, super sick and not just the one kid but the one kid who'll be sick and then all the other kids are not sick but it's like we can't homeschool because the sick kid's taking all the time and so we actually had several months where somebody was always sick. So, there were so many screens on.

That's happened a couple of times, and we've also had times when other things were going on in my life private, personal things or other responsibilities. I'm not saying this happens all the time, but like the only way I could homeschool was if I put him in front of "Liberty's Kids," and I put him in front of "Cyberchase," and I put him in front of "Bill Nye the Science Guy" and that's what school was.

This is the thing I want to tell you. We didn't do that all the time. I don't want you to think that all of our homeschooling is screens. You guys know that, right? I talk about all the other cool stuff we do. I'm trying to keep it real over here, but - but here is the thing. My kids are turning out pretty darn awesome.

It's not perfect, they're not perfect, but they're turning out okay. They like to learn. They learn lots of things. They all know how to read. They all know how to be creative. They all know how to entertain themselves without screens.

So, screen time in and of itself is not going to destroy your children. If you are in a stage of life where all you can do is get up in the morning, and you're just on survival mode, and it's all you can do is to push the button, then it's okay.

If you go for years - no, I'm not talking about that. But I'm saying new baby, husband loses his job, packing to move. Okay that we watched a lot of screens. Moving across the country - a lot of screens.

It is okay to sometimes have to put your kids in front of screens. You're going to be okay. They're going to be okay. Go back to your regular schedule and then kind of pick up wherever you left off. I am living proof that your kids will be okay.

I'm ToriAnn Perkey, and from my homeschool to your homeschool, I make these videos every week so that you can be a super successful and confident homeschool mom.

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As I’m gearing up for another school year, I’m thinking about priorities ... What subjects I’ll teach ... What order we’ll do things in.

And with all of that, I’m also thinking about what I put before ALL academics in my homeschool.

Because over the years I’ve learned that if I put this first … everything else has a much better chance of falling into place.

Transcript

Hey guys! This is ToriAnn Perkey, and from my homeschool to your homeschool, I want to talk about a really important topic today -- it's the question of what's more important relationships or academics.

This is a tough question because any time in your homeschool you're going to wrestle with both. You're going to have to be worrying about making the academics happen. We’ve got to be teaching the subjects, and the skills, and the learning, and all of that, but we're also in these relationships because we're interacting, and we're the parent, and they're the child and there's us and the spouse and all of this.

Sometimes everything's chugging along, and it's going awesome. You're like, “Woo-hoo, it's working!” And then sometimes everything is a mess -- the academics aren't working or the relationships aren't working, and it's like, “Well, which is more important? If something's not working and I can only focus on one, what should I do?”

So, everyone may not agree with me, but I strongly, strongly, strongly believe that if you have to pick between relationships and academics, you want to pick relationships and this is why. If you pick relationships, and you get your relationships in a good place -- so, let's say you're struggling with a kid. You don't have a good relationship and you're fighting every day and it's like, “Well, do I solve that or do we still …” You're fighting and they're not doing school work or do we do school work?

If you stop the school work and you focus on the relationship, if you focus on getting in a good place, then you can go back to the academics. You can go back to the learning and you can go back and say okay, now we're going to work on this. But if you try to force the academics, you try to make this happen when the relationship is not in a good place, this is not going to do very well. It will not go well.

We can't learn if our relationships aren't in a good place. Like Maslow's hierarchy of needs -- after you have your basic needs met, like eating and safety, the next level is relationships, and learning comes after that. If you don't take care of relationships, this learning stuff -- it will be a train wreck.

So, if I have to pick -- and there have been times when I have picked -- I have picked relationships because the parenting was an issue, the discipline was an issue, or a kid was really struggling, or we were having depression, or anxiety, or a learning disability, or there was friction -- there are all sorts of things happen in relationships. I will always stop, address that. Sometimes it takes a while. Sometimes it takes days, or weeks, or months. I will address that and then we'll figure out how to problem solve this. Sometimes you can do a little bit of this while you're working on this, but I'm here to tell you this is my focus, this - relationships.

I always will pick that first because in the end if they learn their times-tables, does not matter to me as much as whether or not we can still communicate. In the end, if they don't learn whether or not World War II came before or after World War I, that does not matter as much as whether or not we get along and whether or not we have a good relationship. Because if this is intact, the kid can go learn this on their own later on. It's not ideal, but if this isn't working none of this will happen.

So, which is more important? Well, they're both important, but which one do you pick first? I say pick relationships. If you're in a situation where it's really you're doing this with a kid right now, and it's kind of a train wreck or it's super toxic, would you step back and assess if maybe it's time to pull back from academics and put more of your energy and bandwidth into healing that relationship? Please, please because I think it's going to really serve you well in the long run.

Yay! Okay. So, that's what I wanted to say today about relationships and academics and trying to sort all that out together.

My name is ToriAnn Perkey, and I make these videos every week so that you can be a super successful and confident homeschool mom.

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