Tag Archives for " socialization "

This was LONG before I knew the arguments about socialization and the benefits of homeschooling.

All I knew is that the homeschooled kids I’d known in high school were weird. So I assumed ALL homeschooled kids were weird.

Her answer is something I’ll NEVER forget.

It stayed with me when we decided to homeschool.

And now, it’s the answer I give every single time someone asks me the question.

It’s based on one simple question you can ask yourself … and depending on your answer determines whether your kids will be weird.

Watch the video to find out more ...

Transcript

Hey guys! ToriAnn Perkey here! From my homeschool to your homeschool. I've got a question for you.

Are you ever worried that your kids are gonna turn weird?

Or do you ever sense that the people around you who aren't so sure about you homeschooling? Thinking your kids are gonna turn out weird?

Yeah, it seems to be kind of this prevalent thing that kind of surfaces over and over again in the homeschool community. Either because we're bringing it up or because we're hearing questions about it.

So today, I want to peel back the curtain just a little bit. Talk about where the question comes from. Whether or not your kids are actually going to be weird. And how you can know right now whether or not they're gonna be weird or not. And what you can do about it if you're thinking that they might be weird.

Okay so first of all, where does this question come from? I think it comes from the fact that our generation. So my generation, I graduated from high school in 1995. And I only knew one or two homeschoolers in my high school. They would come to highs school part-time and they would stay home. I knew someone else who'd been homeschooled and they were weird. Like they didn't fit in. They were awkward socially, they had different ideas about education. They didn't seem "normal".

So when I was thinking about homeschooling over and over again, I kept referencing those examples and I kept thinking yeah, homeschool kids are weird. No way I want my kids to be like that. But there are lots of reasons why I started homeschooling and the more I got to know other homeschoolers, I realized we run the gamut of weirdness to not weirdness. And frankly, I fall way far I think kind of on the weird corky side way more than the normal side. We're gonna talk about that in just a minute.

But what I started to realize is that the reason kids are weird has nothing to do with whether they're homeschooled or not. Instead, it has everything to do with whether their parents are weird. What kind of family are they being raised in?

I mean think about it. There are super normal kids who homeschool. And if you look at their parents, they're super normal. They're like picture-perfect, come out of magazine. Everybody looks great and put together normal.

And then there are other homeschoolers I meet who really seem pretty weird. Like totally different than the norm. Let's define weird as not necessarily odd or yucky but just different. And then I look at their parents and guess what, their parents are different. They're different than the norm. They have different attitudes about things, they're interested in different things, and they socially interact in maybe some different kind of ways.

So if you want to know whether your kids are gonna be weird, you have to look at you.

If you're weird, your kids are gonna be weird. If you're not weird, your kids aren't going to be weird. And to just reinforce this, I want you to think back to your school experience. Were there kids in your school who were "weird"? Yeah. My public high school had lots of kids who were weird. And lots of kids who were normal and lots of kids who were lots of different things. And I'm guessing that if I went and met their parents, and I met a lot of parents, their parents were a lot like them.

So the reality is our culture is not how you choose to educate your child. It's actually how you choose to live your life as a family that determines whether your kids are gonna be weird or not. So what do you want to do about that? 

Well, if you are worried about your kids being able to interact effectively in society. If you're worried about your kids being "weird", then it's time to look at how can you change the culture in your family? How can you talk differently? How can you act differently? Can you be engaged in different things?

But I'm here to tell you that it's probably a good thing. Because once your kids get out into society, there's room for everybody. And kids who are different who think differently and act differently and move differently through the world are the ones who change the world.

And if you're a family that's chosen to homeschool, well maybe the word we should use instead is you're gonna be a little peculiar. You're gonna be called peculiar because you've moved outside of the norm. And isn't that what weird is? Is being outside of the norm? Don't you want to be outside of the norm if you're homeschooling? Well, yeah.

So yes, we want our kids to be able to interact socially. Yes, we want them to be able to interview for a job and get a job or just start a business. Yes, we want them to be able to go a party and have friends. Absolutely! But I want to embrace the fact that we're kinda quirky over here at the Perkey house. We're kinda peculiar. And not just because we homeschool, because that's what makes us Perkey's. And I kinda like that.

So rather than pushing it away, I'm gonna embrace the fact that we're kinda weird. And kinda peculiar and kinda different. And that's okay. And I hope that you can embrace what makes you different and unique and exciting and amazing. Because when we all come together in this beautiful planet, it's pretty awesome.

I'm ToriAnn Perkey, and I bring you these videos every week to help you be a confident, successful homeschool mom.

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And knowing how to ANSWER that question can feel a little tricky!

Today I'm sharing the answer I've developed over the last 14 years that seems to work every single time.

Learn this, and you'll never feel awkward answering the socialization question again!

Want to read instead of watch? Scroll to read a transcript of this video.

Transcript

Hey guys! ToriAnn here! And from my homeschool to your homeschool, I’ve got a question for you. Have you ever heard someone ask you, “So what about socialization?”

You’re in the grocery store or maybe you’re at a family event and someone’s going to ask you how you’re going to socialize your kids.

Do you know how you’re gonna answer that question?

Or do you start to get all squidgy and squealy inside and feel all rumbly cause you don’t know what to say.

And behind that question, you can hear the real question which is, “Are you gonna destroy your kids?”

Yeah. So I used to get this question all the time. My in-laws would ask it. My parents would ask it. My siblings asked it. I would hear it in a church. I would hear it at the store. What are you gonna do about socialization?

And I got the question so much that I decided I was gonna come up with an answer that was going to work every single time. Because I was tired of fumbling around it and trying to come up with something that didn’t really feel like it satisfied them and usually took us down the rabbit hole of a whole bunch of other questions that didn’t really make a lot of sense and made the whole conversation harder. And it made it sound like I didn’t really know what I was doing with my homeschooling -- which is never a good idea.

So I came up with the answer to the “socialization” question, and ever since then, every time I use this, the answer just puts everything to rest. I can feel everyone I’m talking to take a deep breath. And I don’t get lots of follow up questions that aren’t just interested. They’re not critical questions, they’re, “Oh tell me more about that.”

So are you dying to know what this is?

Okay, so here’s the answer to the question. When someone comes up to me or we’re in a conversation and they say, “So what about socialization?” this is what I say --

“Well, you know, I treat socialization just like any other subject. I’m the facilitator of my kids’ education and development. Which means that I make sure that they get lots of socialization opportunities, and they’re getting educated in how to interact with human beings whether they’re adults or kids in a really great way.”

That’s the answer.

That you are creating opportunities and that you’re treating it like a subject, like any other subject.

And then if I feel like it, I follow up with something like this. “And besides, there are so many opportunities for homeschoolers to socialize with kids their age that if we wanted to, we could be gone every single day of the week and never be home and actually educate. But we don’t do that. So we just pick and choose. But my kids get so many opportunities to interact with other people. Yeah, they get tons of socialization.”

Between those two answers, it pretty much puts all the fears to rest.

And that’s how I want to end this little video. Remember that when people are asking you questions, they’re coming from one of two places.

They’re either curious. Which means you don’t need to feel defensive because they really are just curious and they wanna know what’s going on. And they’re learning more about homeschooling and they’re trying to figure out how it works and they figure you’re a good source of information because you are homeschooling or you’re thinking about it or you’re just getting started.

Or they’re worried. They’re worried that these kids that they care about, either because they’re in your neighborhood or they’re a neighbor or they’re a friend or maybe they’re a family member. You know grandmas and grandpas, they worry. They wanna make sure the kids are gonna be okay. That’s what they’re really asking.

So when you have an answer that’s confident and when you have an answer that’s clear that you’re in charge and you have a plan, it calms everybody down. And when everybody’s calm, the conversation gets a lot easier.

Alright, I'm ToriAnn Perkey, and I bring you these videos every week so that you can feel like a confident, successful homeschooler.

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