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I’ve spent a lot of time reflecting on what makes homeschooling easier than public school AND what makes it harder. I’ve also spent a lot of time trying to decide why I kept going. | hard truths about homeschooling | Is homeschooling hard | Is homeschooling worth it | homeschool truths | Disadvantages | Is it difficult to homeschool |

4 Tricky Truths That Make Homeschool Hard

Is homeschooling hard?

I’m not going to lie … it is hard. And anyone who tells you differently isn’t telling the truth.

It’s also wonderful, glorious, delightful and exciting.

But I think we do a disservice to anyone who is learning about homeschooling to not tell the entire truth about homeschooling.

Because if you’re trying to decide about homeschooling …

If you’re trying to decide if homeschooling will be worth it -- what the benefits are ...

And you’re trying to figure out what the advantages and disadvantages of homeschooling are -- you need someone to tell you both the good and the bad.

After 16 years homeschooling, I’ve spent a lot of time reflecting on what I think makes homeschooling easier than public school AND what makes it harder.

I’ve also spent a lot of time trying to decide why I kept going -- even when there were tears (theirs and mine!), even when I was exhausted, and even when I thought I was absolutely failing.

And the reality is that sometimes it was because I’m stubborn.

But most of the time, it was because I could see the long view -- my children were actually growing up to be wonderful people. They were learning and “becoming.”

And I wanted to be part of the journey. Even if that meant I had to keep doing the “hard.”

In today’s video, I’m covering four hard truths I’ve learned about homeschooling during the past 16 years.

Because no matter where you are in the journey -- starting out or quite a ways down the dusty path -- just being aware of what makes homeschooling “hard” can also make it easier!

Want to keep reading instead of watch? Scroll to read a transcript of the video.

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Transcript

4 Tricky Truths That Make Homeschool Hard

Hello. My name's ToriAnn Perkey and from my homeschool to your homeschool today I want to talk about four tricky truths that make it tough to be a homeschool mom. Most of the time I make videos that talk about how to be a successful homeschool mom, how to be a confident homeschool mom. But today I want to talk about why being a homeschool mom can be hard. And because I don't want to lie, homeschooling, it's hard.

It is not for the faint of heart. It is not easy. And so I want to talk about what makes it hard for the homeschool mom. Why is it that maybe you want to be aware of just some of the things that are coming that might be difficult that, don't get me wrong, I love homeschooling. I've been doing this for a really long time. I am a veteran homeschool mom of 16 years. I've got four kids. This isn't, I've been doing this awhile and these are the things that I find are still, even after 16 years, still hard for me.

#1 Tricky Truth: You never have it figured out

So the first one, the first thing that's hard is you just never have it all figured out. You think you will. You think that it's 16 years or 18 years or 20 years, at some point, you're going to have it all figured out. But the reality is I am still researching. I am still asking questions. I'm still looking for answers. My kids get older and new questions develop, we enter a new phase of life and suddenly everything that I thought I knew has to change. It's just the reality of changing and growing.

You never have it all figured out, and that can be hard. Because you invest all this time, you think at some point, kind of just want to take a break and, and enjoy what I figured out. But the reality is there's always more to learn. There's always ways to improve. There's always things that, big questions that you're trying to figure out. So that's the first thing that I think is hard as being a homeschool mom, and it is a truth. You are never going to have it figured out.

#2 Tricky Truth: You never stop worrying

So the second truth, the second tricky truth is that you never stop worrying. You just don't. You're gonna worry the entire time you're homeschooling. I've actually made another post that I recommend you watch all about why a little bit of worry is actually good. And you don't ever want to completely let go of the worry. But the truth is you are never going to stop worrying. And that can be frustrating.

Guilt and fear they sit on the homeschool mom's shoulders and it takes a lot of work to make them not screaming in your ears. And the guilt is all about what you've done in the past and regret and feeling like you should have done something different.

And the fear is all about the future. And it's all about what's going to happen and what am I doing to my kids and are they going to be okay? It's all the future. And these two are sitting on your shoulders and you're just like "Ahhhhhh". 

So you gotta learn how to turn that off. But you don't want to completely turn off the worry because you do need it. So there's this battle in-between all of that. And me? Yeah, I'm still worrying. I'm still worrying after 16 years about math. I'm still worrying about am I using my time correctly with my different kids. 

You know, am I figuring out, like should we be going on these field trips? Should we be staying home? Should we be, you know, am I doing enough? Am I not doing enough? I'm always trying to figure that out and there is some worry that I'm going to make the wrong choice. It just is.

#3 Tricky Truth: It is hard to say goodbye

Okay. So the third tricky truth, the third tricky truth is that it's harder to say goodbye. I didn't even know this. I read everything about how it brought families together and homeschooling creates this environment where everybody is genuinely good friends and that stuff is all true. It's awesome and amazing.

But I didn't realize that what that means is that when it's time to let someone go, either just short term because they're going into an activity you're not involved with like a play or something or long term. Like I sent my daughter off to college, it was hard. It was way harder than I thought it was going to be and it was compounded by the fact that we'd always been together. We'd always been a family, so that was hard.

#4 Tricky Truth: Homeschooling is a huge sacrifice

The last thing, that's the tricky truth, the last tricky truth is that homeschooling is a huge sacrifice. Huge. It is a sacrifice of time. It is a sacrifice of money. It is a sacrifice of energy. All of it is a sacrifice. And you're going to have to come to grips with that. If you're going to be okay with homeschooling. It is a tricky truth that you are going to be sacrificing. Now, don't get me wrong, it is worth it. All of these tricky truths, all of these things, it is worth it. I love homeschooling.

If you need more help with your homeschooling, I do have a homeschool help center full of free resources that you can check out the links up above, down, below, wherever you're watching this video. I hope that that will help you if you are in the process of trying to decide if these tricky truths, if you're willing to embrace them so you can homeschool, or if you're in a place where you just need some help. I'm ToriAnn Perkey, and I make these videos every week so that you can be a successful and confident homeschool mom.

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Is homeschooling hard? I’m not going to lie … it is hard. And anyone who tells you differently isn’t telling the truth. It’s also wonderful, glorious, delightful and exciting. | hard truths about homeschooling | Is homeschooling hard | Is homeschooling worth it | homeschool truths | Disadvantages | Is it difficult to homeschool |
If you’re trying to figure out what the advantages and disadvantages of homeschooling are -- you need someone to tell you both the good and the bad. Because just being aware of what makes homeschooling “hard” can also make it easier! | hard truths about homeschooling | Is homeschooling hard | Is homeschooling worth it | homeschool truths | Disadvantages | Is it difficult to homeschool |
Some days homeschooling is just hard! We’ve gotten to the point (after 15 years) where we get a lot of “pretty good” days. Want to know how we’ve done it? | Hard Homeschool Days | When Homeschooling is hard | Homeschool bad days | Homeschooling when its hard | Homeschooling easier | Is homeschooling hard for parents |

What to Say in the Middle of a Hard Homeschool Day

Some days homeschooling is just hard!

The kids are struggling and whining and crying.

You’re struggling ... whining … and crying.

Nobody wants to do their work. Everyone is fighting. 

The phone is ringing. 

The entire neighborhood is at your house. 

You’re trying to teach while also serve another family in need -- or just maintain your sanity.

Hard homeschool days come to every homeschool family. Days where you just want to throw in the towel and quit homeschooling!

Not every day, of course. Some days are wonderful and blissful and magical. Days where your kids and you are having a blast -- learning and growing together.

I’ve had many people tell me -- and I’ve found it true myself -- that you get one of those lovely days about 1 in 10. And believe me, these are the days that keep me going!

On top of that, many days can be “pretty good.” My kids are fairly compliant, stuff gets done, and nobody had a meltdown. We’ve gotten to the point (after 15 years) where we get a lot of “pretty good” days. (Want to know how we’ve done it? Check out my webinar “Confident Homeschool Secrets”)

But for the days that are trending toward disaster, what can you do?

How can you make homeschooling easier when you can sense where everything is headed?

Today I’m discussing 5 things you can do and say in the middle of a hard homeschool day. No - things won’t magically become “magical,” but you can reverse the trajectory and get your family headed back in the right direction.

Want to keep reading instead of watch? Scroll to read a transcript of the video.

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Transcript

What to say in the middle of a hard homeschool day

Hello ToriAnn Perkey here, from my homeschool to your homeschool, today I want to talk about what you can say to yourself in the middle of a really hard homeschool day. I don't know about you, but there are days where everything just feels like it's crashing in. The kids aren't listening. I'm having a bad day. The phone's ringing off the hook. Kids are coming to, the additional kids are coming to the door you know.  I'm hearing about stuff that's not working and everybody's grumpy and fighting and some days are just hard.

And if you're going to successfully homeschool, learning how to get through the hard days to the good days is definitely worth the effort, but you got to figure out how to get through the good days. Now, I've made another video on how to actually have a good day, and so if you haven't seen that video, be sure to check down below. I'm going to put a link to that video as well, but today I want to talk about what to say to yourself in the middle of a hard homeschool day.

5 things you can say to yourself

Actually have five different things, five different types of things you can say to yourself to just get you through the day. Put yourself in bed so you can get up the next day.

1. Say "This is simple, this is easy, this is fun"

Okay. So the first one, the first thing that you can say to yourself is, this is simple. This is easy. This is fun. Now this is all about training your brain to look at whatever is currently happening in a different light. Don't get me wrong, there are days where it doesn't feel simple, easy, or fun. But if I say it to myself enough, sometimes my brain shifts and I wait. Okay, okay, I can figure this out. So this is almost like a, like a Jedi mind trick that you're going to play with your brain to help you figure out how to do this. And so this is simple. This is easy. This is fun. Something to just perk yourself up in the middle of the day.

2. Give yourself a timeout

Okay. Number two, what's the second thing you can say to yourself? I need a timeout. Sometimes it is okay for you as the mom to pull yourself out of the situation. Go to your closet and just take a deep breath. I have spent many a homeschool day with part of the day in my closet. Now of course, you don't abandon your children. You either put them in front of something that they can watch or you put the older one in front of the younger ones. Whatever you can do.

Maybe you even just put everybody in a crib or a bed and you say, we're taking a time out and you go put yourself in a timeout. You take the time to figure out how you can reset and recharge. Sometimes when the days are really hard, that's what you need to do. You need to take just a minute to pull yourself out of the situation, get some perspective, let the emotions fall, you know, let the emotions kind of drain out of you just a little bit so you can come back into it with a fresh pair of eyes and possibly a slightly happier heart.

3. Ask what does my child need right now

Okay, so the third thing, what's the third thing you can say? What do we really need right now? What does my child need right now and not what do they in the moment like they need, they maybe need to get their math done. No, I'm talking about what do they really need? Do they need a hug? Do they need some food? Do they need a nap? I don't know what your kid needs.

But often when things are really falling apart, it's because the needs aren't being met. So stepping back and saying, what do they really need? And maybe adjusting your plan for the day because you recognize that what your kid really needs is to sit on the couch and snuggle with you and feel better about themselves. Or maybe they need a conversation or maybe they just need a walk around the block. Whatever it is, will help you have, just help you reset. So that's the third thing.

4. Take the long view

Fourth, remember that you're on a journey. Take the long view. Sometimes we're having a really hard day because we're so worried and afraid that we're not getting everything done and we forget that it's really easy to underestimate how much you can accomplish in 10 years. And over estimate how much you can accomplish in a day. Less is more with homeschooling, so you might not get a whole lot done on a single day, but if you're showing up every day over the course of your child's education, you're going to accomplish a lot. So the next thing you can say to yourself is, I'm taking the long view. I'm looking down the road, I'm just gonna do one little piece today. We don't have to do it all today.

5. This too shall pass

Finally, and this is what I say to myself when things really just hit the fan and everything else, there just doesn't seem to be any other answer. This too shall pass. Sometimes we don't change things. Sometimes we gracefully make it through things and sometimes we don't make it through gracefully. We just make it through, right? This too shall pass. When I remember that nothing is permanent, nothing lasts forever and I always have tomorrow. It helps me get through the end of a really hard homeschool day.

Now if you are new to homeschooling or you are struggling, be sure to check out my free homeschool help center. It's down below full of different activities. Resources, helps to help you have a good homeschool, things like this, as well as other things in there. Specifically, there are additional declarations, phrases that you can say to yourself to help you pump yourself up so you can have a good homeschool day. Be sure to check it out. That's down below. My name is ToriAnn Perkey, and I make these videos every week so that you can be a successful and confident homeschool mom.

Save for later by pinning to your favorite Pinterest board!

Some days homeschooling is just hard! The kids are struggling and whining and crying. You’re struggling ... whining … and crying. How can you make homeschooling easier when you can sense the day trending toward disaster? | Hard Homeschool Days | When Homeschooling is hard | Homeschool bad days | Homeschooling when its hard | Homeschooling easier |
Hard homeschool days come to every homeschool family. Days where you just want to throw in the towel and quit homeschooling! Today I’m discussing 5 things you can do and say in the middle of a hard homeschool day and get your family headed back in the right direction. | Hard Homeschool Days | When Homeschooling is hard | Homeschool bad days | Homeschooling when its hard | Homeschooling easier |