Tag Archives for " comparing "

Create a successful homeschool -- No More Comparing

Create a Successful Homeschool — No More Comparing

Would you like to know one of the easiest ways to become a better homeschool mom? 

AND turn off the homeschool mom guilt and fear?

It doesn’t have anything to do with curriculum or schedules or homeschool plans.

It doesn’t have anything to do with homeschool field trips or activities.

It doesn’t have anything to do with your kids or your schoolroom or how organized you are.

Instead, it has EVERYTHING to do with what YOU are doing when you look around.

Are you comparing to others … and then beating yourself up for how your homeschool is failing?

Do you see the perfect pictures of happy kids doing their schoolwork and then remember how your kids fought you to even pick up a pencil?

Do you read about major art projects with multi-day hands-on help and wish you had done more than just put on a Netflix documentary?

Mama - you can’t DO that to yourself!

Homeschooling is about you and your family -- NOT what everyone else is doing

And the fastest way to homeschool burnout or to feel like you want to quit homeschooling is to compare your worst to another mom’s best!

So today I’m talking about HOW to stop comparing … and instead how to start enjoying your homeschool.

In the video, I explain the importance of having a homeschool vision. If you need help, be sure to check out my FREE lesson on creating your homeschool vision.

Ready to feel Confident and Successful as you homeschool?

Register below to watch my FREE CLASS

Confident Homeschool Secrets

7 Ways to Create a Homeschool That Works (and you LOVE!)



My name is ToriAnn Perkey and from my homeschool to your homeschool. Today I want to talk about one way to help you have a successful homeschool. 

How to Stop Comparing in Your Homeschool

I want to talk about not comparing. I want to talk about this thing that we do. Every homeschool mom does it, and when comparing happens, we feel fear. We feel concern, worry, even overwhelm. It is not doing your homeschool any good. So we are gonna talk about why you need to stop.

Social Media

You see, it is so easy to compare in the homeschool world. You can look around on Facebook, on Instagram, on Pinterest, and you see all the things that other homeschool moms are doing. You see the activities they're doing. You see the books that they're reading. You see the beautiful, wonderful, exciting, homeschool moments because those are the ones that we take pictures of and we post.

Their Best to Your Worst

We don't post things that aren't working. We mostly post the things that do. That's why we celebrate. On top of that, you're going to park days, you're going to your homeschool co-op, you're going to your homeschool whatever. You're interacting with other homeschool moms and they're talking about what their kids are doing. They're talking about the 14 year old kid who is graduating from high school and is starting to work on their associates degree. They're talking about their four year old that just started to read Shakespeare or Harry Potter or whatever, and it is so easy to compare their best to your worst.

You're thinking, Oh my goodness, your kid is graduating from high school and my teenager, I can't even get them out of bed and I'm covered in Cheerios because I've got a baby on my hip and we're trying to teach this kid to read that’s struggling to read. And you know, all we did today that was noteworthy at all is maybe my kid drew some stick figures.


That's how it happens, right? You're hearing these cool things and that's what's going through your head. I'm failing, I'm failing and failing because we're having this experience and everyone else is having this experience and that comparison, that back and forth that is what's killing your homeschool. And it's not what you have to do. You don't have to sit there and do this comparison because the reason you chose to homeschool is because you wanted to create a homeschool for your kids.

The Whole Story

You're not homeschooling all those other kids. You're homeschooling your kid and you don't know the whole story. You know your whole story. You know the good, the bad, the ugly, you know the warts that show up all the time. But you don't know the story. You don't know if that 14 year old who's graduating and is going on is dying inside because they're struggling with anxiety or depression or they feel like they have this perfectionist need to excel.

You don't know that. You don't know that that four year old who maybe is just on a rockstar trajectory with their reading is struggling to just learn how to count. Or struggling, how to, you know, write or struggling with anger and they're constantly getting in trouble. You know, the mom's not talking about those things. She's just talking about what her kids are doing well. One, because she doesn't want to air her dirty laundry. And also because we do want to celebrate our successes and not just all of the things that are going badly.

And so you just don't know the whole story. And the reality is it doesn't matter. We can celebrate successes, but in the end you are in charge of your homeschool. You are in charge of your kids, which means that you are going to create an experience for them.


And the number one way you avoid comparing and turn that off in, in a way that is helpful is you make sure that you've got a vision for your homeschool that you reference regularly and that everything else that you're creating is structured around that vision. And I talk about this a lot because it is so important.

If you have not yet written a vision for your homeschool, I have a free lesson you can, access it immediately and it walks you through. It's, it doesn't take very long and it walks you through how to create a vision for your homeschool that works for you and your kids. And I'm going to put a link down below, up, above wherever you're watching this video. So that you can go in and create a vision and then you're going to have a homeschool that works for you. It's going to take you on your homeschools journey to the destination you want for your unique child. Stop the comparing and create a space where your kids can thrive without worrying about what everyone else is doing.


Now I'm going to put in a caveat. It is helpful to know what else other people are doing because sometimes you can recognize that there's something going wrong that you need to fix. Or you'll learn about a new resource or a new way of doing something that can be super helpful or it can also just be great to know, yeah, you know what? We're all in this together. So it's not that you want to shut yourself out and not be listening to what anybody else is doing. You're just looking at it from a fact finding and celebrating standpoint rather than a look, we're failing, standpoint.

And your vision is how you start that and it's recognizing that you are creating a homeschool for your kids and your family and not anybody else's. And if you can do that, the success in your homeschool will go way, way up. I'm ToriAnn Perkey, and I make these videos every week so that you can be a successful and confident homeschool mom.

Save for later by pinning to your favorite Pinterest board!

Create a successful homeschool -- No More Comparing
Create a successful homeschool -- No More Comparing
Create a successful homeschool -- No More Comparing

How To Conquer Homeschool Mom Fear

Sometimes the biggest thing that gets in the way of having a homeschool that really works is the fear that it’s NOT working.

You look around and see all the amazing things that other people are doing — on Facebook, on Pinterest. Or you hear about it at the local park day — the kid who just graduated at 14 or the 4 yr old who is already reading Shakespeare.

And you can feel like a total failure because you have cheerios in your hair, and the best your kid could muster was stick drawing of the family for school that day.

Comparison is the #1 thing that will destroy you as a homeschool mom. You CAN’T compare how you’re doing. You are you … and they are them. What you do is based on what YOUR kids need and what YOUR family’s goals are.

The kid who graduated at 14 may struggle with depression. The kid reading Shakespeare may struggle with simple addition.

You never know … and it doesn’t matter.

What matters is that you figure out what your kids need and work to give it to them. Provide them space to learn and grow. Pay attention to opportunities that will light them up. Allow them to be different … and unique … and special.

Yes — it’s important to pay attention to growth and to ask if you’re on the right track. That’s okay. But make sure it’s YOUR track and aligned with the destination YOU want.

Let the fear that your kid and your homeschool isn’t measuring up go. And embrace the homeschool that you are meant to create.